whitticisms

Pardon My Dust

2011-05-10T08:55:00.001-07:00

Switching back and forth between email addresses is a drag.

PM me if you want the new blog address!

xxxx

-whitters

Is this little guy our new best friend?

2011-05-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

Emma, who is really a girl :)

When I was ~~little~~ young(er), a family up the street from us wanted to get rid of their dog. Apparently the dog had...issues. Always up for a challenge, my mom decided now was the time to get a dog. Hours later, a small, fat wiener dog arrived at our home. My dad, having not grown up with a dog, was less than thrilled. Not only had he never wanted a dog, he was now stuck with a sausage with...issues. The poor little thing was not very bright, but made up for what it lacked in brains with it's cute little sausage body and stubby little legs that could barely waddle along. It was, in fact, endearing. The little wiener dog, Sunny, was here to stay.

What was not endearing, however, were the certain issues that came with the little thing. Coming home one day, we found that the new dog had peed in the house. Around the Christmas tree. In a circle. About five times. Now, everything I've read says, "If the dog pees in the house, it's your own damn fault." But, clearly everyone (my dad) decided it was the wiener's fault.

We left on vacation to Hawaii and that's when the mischief started. My dad devised a plan. Working in cahoots with my neighbor and OWN GRANDMOTHER, the wiener dog was taken away while we were out of town. Upon our return, my dad put up the garage where the wiener lived and shouted, "It's a SUNNY DAY!" Poor Sunny was no where to be found. She was taken away to a strange man with the name of Beefsteak and never had a chance. I was so upset, I drew a modern art piece depicting a Giant Hand Stealing the Dog in a sea of blue tears and emotion.

Fast forward. Bear and I are looking at the cute and little girl above tomorrow morning.

Maybe she'll be my new island friend!?

whitters

The Sound of the Ocean Keeps Me Up at Night

2011-05-03T06:58:00.000-07:00

View from our window. Taken by our villa's previous owner :)

I haven't actually seen the sun rise from our balcony yet, but after B's school starts, it's up and at 'em pretty early in the morning. Which shouldn't be too hard since the ocean waves crash pretty loudly on the beach.

After the flight/layover that was hotter than Hades we made it to the island which is....hotter than Hades. We managed to get the bags unpacked pretty quickly considering I might have packed my body weight in clothes. (Seriously) Because I could manage to be cold in the middle of a desert, I'm pretty excited about this humid weather. B says the hot weather hasn't even started yet. It's been a little bit overcast and cloudy so far, but that weather usually happens whenever I'm around. Haven't had too much need for the sunscreen yet, but it's coming, my Lobster Skin sense can feel it.

Time for me to break out the SPF 600 and for B to break out the textbooks.

Good luck! :)

-whitters

I love this woman...

2011-03-31T10:54:00.000-07:00

I know I'm usually a bit snarky, but I swear I do have a soul. And this soul loves Sarah Kay.

Watch:

-whitters

Like Benjamin Button...in Reverse

2011-03-30T08:41:00.001-07:00

I went to the dentist yesterday. Because my mouth is ridiculously messed up, I'm not a huge fan of the dentist. I do like my oral surgeon, but only because he gives me ~~benzos~~ surgery drugs. Unfortunately, I only get to see him when I need horrible old-people things done like molar implants (screws in your jaw anyone?) or gum grafts (let's slice off the roof of your mouth and stitch it to your gums shall we?). He stabs me with giant horse-needles and he doesn't laugh at my jokes, but he's a good surgeon. My perfect new gums are a true testament of his skills.

But, the real story is not a love letter to Dr. K. This story is about my visit to Sweetpea, the Dentist.

The dental hygienist cleaned my teeth, carrying on a conversation with me while she did. She always asks me the same things: Are you the one who does hair? No. How's work? Crap. and Do you floss? Crap. No. When she isn't chatting with me, I get the chance to eavesdrop on the conversations Sweetpea is having with the other patients.

This particular evening, one patient was talking about the love of my life, (sorry, Bear) National Public Radio. She said she liked it because they always broadcast different stories and facts that you couldn't hear anywhere else. I nodded to myself. She then brought up the story she'd recently heard about kidnapped Mexican babies. I started laughing. The hygienist pulled her hands out of my mouth to ask what was funny.

"Oh, my family makes fun of me because I like NPR. They call me 90-Years-Old. I heard the story she's talking about driving over here. It was interesting."

"Well," the hygienist said. "She's only about 60 if that makes you feel better."

"Not really."

"Maybe that can be your goal, Whitney. You should try to act younger."

Now, on top of giving up laziness and scrawniness, I should give up my NPR?

Maybe I am a 90 year old woman?

I might be alright with that. My almost 90 year old California gramma kicks ass.

Get up offa that thang

2011-03-26T21:16:00.000-07:00

One time, I decided I wanted to exercise. I was going to run. No, I'm not joking. I really got it into my head (somehow) that running and I were going to be Best Friends. I'd be all Oh hey, let's hang out. and Running would say, Okay, sure. and I'd say, I really want to go buy a new book and read it while I eat a whole bunch of Peaches and Cream Oatmeal with vanilla ice cream on top and then maybe shopping for shoes and Running would glare at me and say, Fat chance sucker. Put on your pink tennis shoes.

Wait, what?! Okay, maybe I just needed more friends.

Anyways, because I hadn't run since the Ninth Grade Mile I was forced to run every Friday, I did what any novice runner would do: I Googled. Up came From Couch to 5K. I was so up for anything involving a couch, though Bed would have been a better choice, I clicked. I printed. I put on my damn pink tennis shoes. But, first I needed to make an Ipod play list. And hunt down some water bottles. And socks. And I probably ate some oatmeal with ice cream on top just for, you know, energy or whatever.

I took off down the street. Couch to 5K told me I should start out walking for five minutes then alternate jogging for 60 seconds with walking for 90 seconds for week one. Please. I eat a carton of ice cream faster than that. I skipped week one. I also skipped weeks two, three, four and five.

Jog for five minutes. Oh, heck yes. Five minutes is cake. That's like the time it takes me to shower. I took off jogging.

60 seconds. No problem. Haha! Obviously skipping week one was a good choice. Week one was for SUCKERS!

Two minutes. This is tough.

Two minutes and five seconds. Why is this happening to me?! Running, we're supposed to be friends. Why are you gossiping about me to all the cool girls? Why are you laughing at me??? Why do I feel like I WANT TO DIE!?!?!? THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! !@)*(#*)$#&*!)*

And that's when I decided to do yoga.

-whitters

Attempted Murder 3: In Which the Baby is Safe

2011-03-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Because my siblings and I tried to kill each other in various ways on a daily basis, I now have a duty to record our attempted murders.

A few summers after my dad graduated from The Best Graduate School Ever, my parents remodeled the house my mom grew up in. This house was a looker. Asbestos laden "popcorn" adorned the ceilings, waiting to kill some unsuspecting sucker. A large, life-sized painted Charlie Chaplin mournfully gazed down upon us from the walls of our playroom -- probably also waiting to kill some unsuspecting sucker. Brown painted panels, most definitely covered in lead, lurked about for my baby sister Maddie to gnaw on should they come loose from the wall and fall on her head as she crawled around the dinning room. It was truly a lovely home.

During this remodel, my mom needed to run a few errands (probably more black and white curtains) and packed up my brother and Maddie into our mini-van. Who knows where I was. Probably playing with my imaginary friends.

Now, this was no high-tech Honda all the hip soccer moms are driving these days. No automatically starting engines and TVs and nonsense. No fancy keys or cool sunroof. This was a gold and white Mercury Villager. The greatest. We named it The Van.

Yeah, I know this isn't gold and white.

Forgetting something inside, my mom instructed Brock to Stay in the Van with the Baby. Got it? Stay in the Van with the baby.

The most reliable of babysitters.

She was in the house a few minutes when Brock came running back inside. My mom was a little surprised to see him since she had instructed him to Stay in the Var with the Baby. She asked, "Brock! What are you doing!?"

Brock reassured her, "Don't worry Mom. I locked all the doors. The Baby is safe!"

Yes, Maddie was locked in. She, for one, would Stay in the Van. Looks like she had no other choice.

At least she was safe!

*For the record, my mom called the cops and they got the Baby out.
-whitters

Eyebrows are hard

2011-03-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

My middle sister is a cosmetologist. She's good with hair. She always has been. Well, with the exception of one event:

Maddie was in fifth grade. Brocky Blue-Head and I cornered her.

"Hey, Maddie."

She was suspicious. As she should have been.

"Your eyebrows are looking a little hairy."

She stared at us.

"Yeah, they definitely are!" I piped up. "I think you might have a...uni-brow."

"Yeah, definitely!" Brock agreed.

"What's a uni-brow?" she asked.

"It's when your eyebrows grow over your nose and you have one. long. eyebrow."

After this brief torture, Brock and I laughed to ourselves and parted ways. There was no reason for our torture. We frequently came up with unique ways to inflict pain on our siblings, be it swirlys or holding the door open just long enough for the person walking through to be smashed like a small, stupid bug. Suckers.

The next day at the breakfast table, Maddie wandered in wearing a red and white stripped ski hat. The brim was pulled down low over her eyes. So low she could barely see her food. My mom became suspicious.

"Why are you wearing that hat?" she asked. Maddie, not one to be easily tricked (she thought!), replied that she just. really. liked. her. hat. My mom, also not easily tricked, pulled off the hat to reveal:

Maddie's half-shaved eyebrows.

Hearing that she had a horrible uni-brow, she ran into the bathroom and proceeded to shave her eyebrows. Holding the razor horizontally (that's hamburger-ly...), she manged to not only shave off her unsightly uni-brow, but also most of her (now missing) eyebrows. Instead of meeting in the middle like a giant roller coaster of hair, they now sadly attempted to gain momentum over the arch of her eyes...and failed. Crashed.

And burned.

The ~~best~~-saddest part of all this:

It was school picture day.

-whitters

Brocky Blue Head

2011-03-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

I am the oldest child. For awhile, I was an only child. Then this kid came along:

Notice the big, bald head.

This is my brother Brock.

I was not impressed.

For a year and a half, I had been the darling one. The adorable one. The one who screamed whenever I was put down. The one who talked at six months and yelled, "He's looking at me!!!" every time her dad glanced her way. The one who wouldn't eat unless she had something to distract her.

What was this thing? This monster?

I did not like it. It cried, especially when I tried to put it in a headlock. Or bite it, which I frequently did. Gnawing on its little fingers, I quickly dropped them when my parents looked my way.

The face of an angel?

Plus, it was bald. I mean, really, really bald. Its little head wobbled all around, gleaming at me. It had hair once. When it was born, it had a full head of black hair. Then it all fell out.

I, ever the problem solver, decided that it may be ugly, it may cry and hog the attention, but it didn't need to be bald and frightening on top of everything else. Ugly as a baby bird at birth, I myself had only the thinnest of hair.

I had a plan.

My parents left me unsupervised. HaHA! Perfect. I sneaked into where it lay -- unsuspecting. Its little head bald as an egg. I took out my blue colored marker.

I approached, quietly. Sneakily. I uncapped the marker.

And colored all over its little head.

My parents suspected something. The jig was up.

Preemptively I screamed,

"LOOK! IT'S BROCKY-BLUE HEAD!!!!!"

My parents were not amused.

They took away my markers.

And I my hair stopped growing until the age of four.

Behold my bowl cut.

-whitters

Busy Little Thing

2011-03-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

I think giving up laziness for Lent is the best choice I've ever made (love you B!).

Not only do I work at my ever-increasingly-fantastic full time job -- that's sarcasm, folks-- I've also been lucky enough to pick up a writing project on the side for the (truly) fantastic site ReferAll.com. If you're a business owner (or lover!), this is the site for YOU. I finally feel like I'm actually putting my talents to use!

THANK GOODNESS!

-whitters

Ass-ets

2011-03-12T09:10:00.000-08:00

image source

In my quest to become fatter, I decided to try the Tin Roof Grill. It has a hip, trendy, sports bar feel to it. I know that sounds like an oxy-moron. The inside is a mix of sports bar meets hipster and the food is bar food meets tapas bar. Identity crisis?!? Tin Roof Grill, what are you!? Are you the place where those girls who don't like to eat wings (I don't know any) could go and watch sports with their boyfriends? The plethora of flat screen TV's and fancy appetizers tell me yes. I think.

I ordered croquettes, which are little deep fat fried ham and cheese sandwich balls. Yum. Deep fat fry anything and I will eat it. Even fish. They were pretty good, but they scalded the roof of my mouth! Owwww. I also had a cup of french onion soup. It was good, but the cup was so tiny. How am I supposed to get fat off THAT!?

-whitters

Delicious-ness aka I'm obsessed with The Copper Onion

2011-03-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

I love to eat. Did you know that? I know I'm a scrawny little guy, but seriously. Food.

If the sun can manage to shine for more than two hours, I want to try out some new places. It's been a long while since I have tried anything new. My love affair with the carbonara at The Copper Onion has prevented me from trying anything new. That pasta is like heaven on earth. It was the first solid food I ate after having my gum graft. The cook remembers me when I come in (or is really, really good at pretending) and the staff is attentive. I haven't been there in awhile and I think I need to go ba-

No, I need to try some new places.

The Rose Establishment.Salt Lake City. Definitely trying this one out for my early-out Friday's. Tiny coffee house, but it looks really cute. I'm a sucker for cute.

Britton's Sandy. I'm probably going to try this one out today while I wait for Kenzie to be done with harp lessons.

Tin Roof Grill Sandy. I pass this when I drive right by the gym I should be frequenting because I've given up laziness for Lent. Probably going to try this on a Friday too.

Tin Angel Cafe Salt Lake City. Not to be confused with the above. This place apparently sponsors my other love in life, NPR. One Yelper said her friend from Provo described the Tin Angel as "Hippie Nonsense." I'm on board with that! Anything Happy Valley hates, I love. Definitely another early-out Friday pick. Gnocchi! Brie! Mushrooms! Chickpeas! If I wasn't diversifying my assets tomorrow (you think I'm joking, but I'm not), I would stop by here. Maybe I still will...diversify my ass..ets. I wish. Then maybe my pants will stop falling down. Maybe I should give up being scrawny for Lent.

-whitters

Helix

2011-03-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

This is my ear:

After much deliberation and research, I went to a piercing parlor, picked out a little gem and waited while several others also had tiny holes stabbed in their body. The girl next to me had a tiny fleck of silver above her lip, the girl across from me had a tiny nose ring. The man doing my piercing had a whole row of rings up and down his ear.

The actual piercing took about five minutes and didn't hurt at all. The first time I went to get anything pierced, I was eight. I sat on a tiny bench at the mall while the gun was prepared. Only, I missed the memo about the part involving a gun. I screamed. Covered my ears. Ran o-u-t. Nothing like that was getting close to my ears. I told this all to my piercer. He looked at me like I was a nut case. This time, he used a needle and I slowly breathed while he stabbed me and put the earring in.

And it didn't even hurt!

Much.

-whitters

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: Eight

2011-02-26T11:35:00.000-08:00

So, I'm fairly good with words. You must agree if you're reading this. I like words. I like big words. Small words. New words. Nerdy words. One of my favorite books is the Phantom Tollbooth because of the proliferation of puns. (Apparently they are making it into a movie!!!)

JoHanna and I are in charge of writing a handbook for my work. The handbook is about kitchen remodeling. I have never remodeled anything nor do I know anything about it. But, here JoHanna and I are writing a handbook. It looks amazing, by the way, and is really good. I'd use it. After many drafts, we present our book to our boss. He looks at it. Reads it. Practically points out each word with his finger the way a kindergartener does. He stops.

'I don't like this word."

"Which word?"

"Problematic."

"Uh, why?"

"It's a Big Word."

"Problematic? I use it all the time...it's not a hard word..."

"Oh. Sorry. We didn't all go to [Fancy Liberal Arts University in Southern California]."

Blank stare. More blank stare. Really blank stare. This is starting to get problematic.

"Well. I've been speaking since I was six months old. I've been collecting words ever since. So..."

Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.

Apparently, problematic is now a Five Dollar Word.

pedantic, pretentious boor.

Side note: An ex-boyfriend's sister-in-law majored in journalism. At her Thank You All for Coming wedding speech, she said she didn't want to write anything down because it would probably sound pretentious.

Hey, congratulations. Not being pretentious? Didn't happen.

Then, the entire family made fun of her behind her back. Which is malicious, spiteful, or overbearing. See what I did there?

You might be addicted to books if...

2011-02-26T10:48:00.000-08:00

thanks picaresque. i like that her url means pen name. :)

You buy your purses based on how many books you can fit inside. {Yes, yes, yes! Although, now that I have a Kindle, I don't need a big bag...}
The Fed Ex and UPS carriers, know you by name. [Well...not because of books. Usually because of the strange things I buy off of Etsy. But, that's a different post.]
Your family refuses to buy you books because they don't want to support your habit. [My family is full of enablers.]
You own multiple versions of the same book. [I do. But, usually because I lose them. Then find them. Then lose them again. Or ruin them with bathtub water or sand.]
You dream about books. (Getting them... meeting the authors that write them.) [Not sure about this one.]
You always have at least one book on you at all times. Even if it's just a quick trip to the dollar store. [Kindlegarten is with me at all times. Everywhere I go. Work, mall, car wash...]
You usually help shoppers at the bookstore, because you are more knowledgeable than the staff. [Noo...I did that once a Sephora though and I thought the girl working there might stab me with a makeup brush. Go Makeup Forever!]
You've been known to skip family functions or outings with friends because you can't stop reading. [Yes. I like books more than you.]
There are books in every room of your house. [Everywhere.]
If you are within five miles of a bookstore, you find yourself drawn to it like a homing device from the mothership. [I work by Barnes and Noble. I have to tell myself to look away.]

Yes, the lawn mower is a power tool

2011-02-24T21:17:00.000-08:00

It snowed last week. It's Utah, so you know, it does that a lot here. But, my parents were out of town in Hawaii (lucky) and I was house-sitting. By house-siting, I really mean babysitting. But, when the charges are taller than you, bigger than you and meaner than you...it's a sad thing to admit. I am the runt of the family. This is important because it figures into the story later. Remember, me=runt.

So. It snowed. It snowed a lot because Utah weather is a pain in the a and dumps the most snow between January and March. Right when you're getting sick of crappy weather and snow and ice and freezing cold. And boots and scarfs and mittens. It's only cute in December.

The snow came down! Maddie went out to shovel the driveway and I thought, "well, let's just use the snow blower. It's like a lawn mower. How hard can that be?"

Last time I used the lawn mower, I fell down the hill. I'm not allowed to use the lawn mower. I'm bad with power tools. I decide to soldier on. I'm smart. I'm capable. I can run the snow blower. As soon as I find it. I found it (Maddie found it) and figured out how to start it. Genius! Then I tried to make it go. Uphill. It did not want to go uphill. At all. It didn't want to go left and didn't want to go right. It didn't want to move. My feet, however, did. And so did my grey, thigh high boots. I am a classy lady.

This is how I snow blow.

Maddie tried to join me. We pushed. And slipped. And fell down the drive way. I yelled, 'This is why I'm going to live in a condo!!!!!!"

And my neighbor across the street came out on her porch, laughed at us, took a picture and went inside.

I hate this state.
Snow blowers can suck it, too.

I did not die

2011-02-06T21:00:00.000-08:00

Don't worry everyone. I did not die.

My surgery went well.

I have amazing talents while totally high.

For example:

My dad apparently thinks I can function normally in my appointed position as Human Dictionary.

He took me to the doctor's office and started to type out an email. He asked me a grammar question right after I had taken oral sedatives.

I stared at him.

He then said, "Oh right. Why am I asking you?"

HOWEVER, my amazing mental capacity was proven later last week.

I couldn't remember my follow up appointment. So I called the doctor's office. They let me know the time and date.

I went to put it in my Blackberry.

Lo and behold: IT WAS ALREADY THERE.

The address, which I can't even remember sober, was there correctly along with the date, time and doctor's name. I typed it in while totally off my rocker.

Moral of the story:

DO MORE DRUGS. I function better that way.

I am joking. Obviously.

GUMS

2011-01-31T14:33:00.000-08:00

Ugh.

Because I have the worst genes in the world (Thanks Gramma), I am the lucky recipient of a....

FREE GINGIVAL GRAFT!

no, it's not free.

no, it's not fun.

don't Google it.

Trust me.

My mouth hurts.

That is all.

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: Number 7

2011-01-27T05:00:00.000-08:00

As an avid reader, I tried fervently to emulate those writer whom I loved. As any girl who grew up in the 90s was want to do, I loved Ann M. Martin and Paula Danzinger. My friend Ashley and I were determined to write a book based on letters, just like our favorite characters Tara*Starr and Elizabeth. The characters in our own novel were deep and complex. My character’s name was Albany. Like the city in New York. Apparently great literary works tend to have girls with stripper names. We saved our stories on a floppy disk and passed it back and forth to each other. Ashely irritated my creative genius by balking at a chapter I wrote in which Albany fell from a fourth story window and was miraculously unharmed. Slipping in the floppy disk, I noticed she commented, “um. This isn’t realistic.” Forget realistic! Did this girl want a story or not!? Would the great Ann M. Martin let such a pesky thing as realism hold her back? No! Her characters were always doing ridiculous things like getting stranded on islands after competing in sailboat races. Stories needed drama. They needed excitement. “Fine. Maybe it was a second story window,” I conceded. We never did finish the story, but with a name like that, I’m sure Albany goes on to fall out sixth story windows, is hooked on drugs and rides a Harley. In her stripper heels. I learned to add creative flair, but not to be ridiculous. I mean, what kind of name is Albany?

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: Number 6

2011-01-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

By eleven, I was no longer hiding in the corner. I moved onto the glamorous world of broadcast journalism. Up in our tree house, I penned the talk of the town. Car crashes happened, babies were born, tornadoes zoomed through the city and ball games were won. Then, behind the official news desk of our trundle bed, my brother and I were live, my dad filming and our six year old sister forecasting the weather. She was at least as accurate as our local weatherman. I later related this tale to a boy in my Psych. class at BYU.

“And that,” I explained, “is why I want to be a journalist.”

He looked at me like I was, well, a girl who just told him her college education was based on a hide-a-bed, bad weather reports and fast-breaking news. We all can dream right? You’d think I would remember the Turkey Incident, but I didn’t. Sometimes people just don’t get it. Now, I tell myself, it’s important to tell the truth as a writer, but maybe not all of it at once.

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: Number 5

2011-01-25T20:46:00.000-08:00

Next, I immersed myself into the world of a writer further still as I grew accustom to brooding in isolation. While other fourth graders gathered with their friends to play kickball, four square and wall ball, I hunkered against the hot asphalt and cool orange-red bricks. I fancied myself Harriet the Spy or Amelia as I scribbled furiously in my Amelia notebook my mom bought for me at the Bookfair. The playground duty thought there was something oddly wrong with me. Repeatedly, she tried to engage in conversation with me. Asked what I was writing or reading. After a few curt answers as I glowered at her through my bangs and hair-bow, she stopped trying. Of course, there wasn’t anything wrong me! Well, at least not because I was a skinny, scowling, quiet ten year old. Sitting contentedly in 15 minute intervals carving out, “I HATE WHEN MADDIE writes SCRIBBLES IN MY NOTEBOOK! SHE THINKS SHE CAN WRITE AND IT’S SO ANNOYING!” I learned another lesson of writing: It’s important to be comfortable alone with your thoughts.

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: #3 and 4

2011-01-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

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3. and 4.
As a girl of eight, I continued my lifelong quest to capture words. Their crisp type looked like ants marching across the page. Neat little rows. I wrote a Christmas story that began with, "'Hark!' The Herald Angles sang, as I watched them sing Christmas carols. I don't remember the rest of the story, but I remember being impressed with my ingenuity. I couldn't have been more proud than if I had actually penned the carol myself. My second grade teacher patiently read through each masterpiece and declared, "Please be more descriptive." The young writer was crushed and more than a little bit upset. But, I learned two lessons about writing: It's important to believe in yourself and it's also important to be willing to take criticism, to grow as a writer, an artists and mouse brown second grader with crooked teeth and a side ponytail.

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: # 2 Observations

2011-01-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

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It started as a young girl of six months, little more than a baby really. Like our earlier ancestors, I perfected storytelling, babbling to anyone who would listen and, much to my parents' dismay, even to those who would have rather not listened.

I mastered the art of simile at four when I exclaimed to my usually petite, pregnant aunt,

"Aunt Sharla! You look like a Big Fat Turkey!"

Charming. An astute observer, like any good writer, and I only spoke the truth.

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer

2011-01-09T15:13:00.001-08:00

One:

image source

I've always considered myself a kind of dilettante. You know, Jack-of-All-Trades-Master-of-None. From collecting random facts, to playing the piano, drawing and eating copious amounts of bacon and chocolate, I do a lot of things moderately well. However, on particular trait stands out as a constant reminder that you don't choose your fate, fate chooses you. I've always been a writer.

Insieme

2010-12-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

In about...

48 hours...

I will see:

This handsome boy.

Merry Christmas B.

Sure do love you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

2010-12-24T12:51:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

abbracciami, abraços, Salāmu `Alaykum

2010-12-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

Dr. Gary Chapman tells all about the languages of love. Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts and, of course, Physical Tough make up the list. Hugging, and the many emotions that come with it, makes up a language all its own. Many types of hugs abound. There is the Side Arm Hug used after an awkward date, hugging someone you don't know very well or perhaps you don't remember their name. One arm around the neck, hips barely touching, "Hey....you...Well good to see you...buddy..." There's the Bro Hug, grasping hands and slapping each other hard on the back. The faire la bise is quite common in France, also appropriated by those in the New York and Los Angeles Area, where two air kisses are given on either side of the face, lips not quite touching skin. This is usually accompanied by a "Hellllooo daaahling." There's the kind of hugs my Italian grandpa gives whenever he comes to visit, picking us up and almost crushing your bones. In Afghanistan, the greeting As-Salāmu `Alaykum (Peace be with you) is accompanied by a nod and a hug between people of the same gender. There's the Wrap Around Hug with one arm on top, one reaching around the back. Squeeze! This hug is close to the Master Hug, but not quite as fully committed.

A Master Hug, well, it's something that's fully committed. No holding back. It's sharing a little bit of yourself. What does that feel like? The sharing of souls? Does it feel like pyaar karna, jhappi, étreindre, or umarme. A Salāmu `Alaykum, abraços, dakishimeru or abbracciami? Can it be captured with a word? Is it an ink blot, soaking the page, spreading tendril into the paper fiber, veins of love? Is it a thread in a woven rug, strengthening the whole, but different from the rest, still unique and beautiful on its own? The moment right before a balloon is pricked with a needle? A flock of birds against a sunset? The fog of the morning just before dawn? The cool stillness? The golden light bathing green valleys and ruby grapes of the Tuscan countryside? The skein of liquid melting into a river at night, swallowing the darkness, enveloping the light from the stars, from the shops, from the two on the bridge, the two in the cafe, the two on the train, the two in the museum, in the church, in front of the paintings, the sculptures, the city, the night, the sky, the stone? The warmth? The glow? Or is it the emptiness, the absences, the space between?

List...10? Hair Raising!

2010-11-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

My hair and I have an unfortunate history.

In tenth grade, I cut my hair off waaay above my ears. My then boyfriend told me I looked like a lesbian. Not in a good way.

It was a dark time.

In college, I dyed my blonde hair....orange. ON ACCIDENT.

My hairdresser sister is cringing.

Other semi-normal styles below... And yes. I AM very self absorbed this afternoon.

Once Upon a Time

2010-11-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

I had a blog.

And within the blog, I promised to go tech-free for Sabbath Manifesto.

And I failed greatly.

I should have stuck with something I could actually accomplish.

Like eating cheese. Or painting my fingernails. Or reblogging photos on Tumblr.

Or any number of things.

I can't help it.

Sorry.

Guaranteed to Make You Sleepy

2010-11-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

Even though I hate the cold, every now and then, I like the rain. Especially inside on a Saturday when all you have to do is snuggle up in a nice warm bed.

Happy weekend :)

images via

Sabbath FAILURE

2010-11-17T12:29:00.000-08:00

So, like any true addict, I failed at my Sabbath Manifesto.

But, I had to see?

The seat in Oliver (my little red car) got stuck. All the way back. So far back that my abnormally short legs couldn't reach the pedals. Luckily, I have a really long torso. Kind of like this guy:

I was able to lean alll the way forward in my seat, clutching wildly at the steering wheel as I drove up to watch my sister play her harp in a children's program. Not such a good idea. Oliver lurched up the street like I was just learning to drive stick-shift. screeeeeech. vrooooooom.

I live down the street from my destination. Don't worry.

Natrually, I had to ask Google what was wrong with Oliver. It was either that or risk hitting small children and old people. And dogs. My neighborhood is full of all of them.

Once I was on Google, I figured...it was all over.

Might as well give up.

I'll try again next week.

I failed. But, I was only thinking of the children!!!

:)

Happy Dance

2010-11-15T22:00:00.001-08:00

Thanks B :)

List Nine: Places I've Lived

2010-11-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

1. Provo, UT

I was born.

2. Murray, UT

My brother was born. I colored on his head and bit him. Poor thing.

3. La Crescenta, California
I don't remember most of this place.

4. My Gramma's House
My brother poured dishsoup down the hallway. Left a big stain there for years. Way to go.

5. The House I Live in Now
I shared a room with my sister. Then, got my own room. Thank goodness.

6. Malibu, California
Hooray for Pepperdine.

7. Florence, Italy
Hooray for Pepperdine again!

8. Malibu, California (again)
Hey, I need nine places. I moved back and lived in a different apartment. It counts.

9. Back home.
Full circle. Kind of.

Clarification: That is not my room. I wish it was!

Sabbath

2010-11-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

Street Cred

I like to challenge myself. I challenge myself to Keep Sitting on My Bed Eating Sweet Potato Chips (accomplished), Stay in Bed and Be Late for Work Everyday (accomplished) and Eat A Lot of Junkfood. I rock at these challenges! Go me! BUT, maybe I'll try something a little more productive? For 30 days, I will try something new. And see if I succeed.

This 30 Day Challenge....keep reading...

Busy, busy, busy. I swear I'm constantly on my Blackberry checking Facebook, texts and oh yeah, making a few phone calls. Forgetting my phone at home sets me in a state of instant panic. What if I get hit by a car/kidnapped/not know what time it is/omgnothaveaccesstofacebook??? Okay, maybe I'm not that bad. But. The instapanic sets in the second I reach in the purse I've somehow remembered to grab and I realize my Crackberry is missing.

I think I'm addicted.

Whatever, I can go for days without my Crackberry or Macdre (does the fact that I name my electronics make me weirdly attached to my inanimate objects?) or my ipod because I need to hear about crazy A janitors and laugh at The Moth and listen to classical music while I read Mises. Sometimes I feel torn. I can listen to This American Life whiiile reading a book or watch Netflix while I research for my writing class, but what if my headphones are too loud and I don't hear Skype ring or I forget to check my email?? Who is funnier, Mike Bierbiglia, Ira Glass, Stephen Colbert or David Sedaris?!?!?

Technology is tough you guys.

Enter Sabbath Manifesto. We all need some time off, no? Sabbath Manifesto is all about taking a break one day a week. To just...be.

I've been thinking mainly about

1. Avoid Technology.

But, I like to think of it more as Eschewing Electronic Possessions. Avoiding sounds like I have a problem.

And I can quit any time I want.

Right after I finish this podcast....

Send Me on My Way

2010-11-12T20:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, please.

Chris Guillebeau is awesome. He's on a quest to visit every country in the world. And at 149/192, he's preeeetty close. He's also written an article on quitting your job and traveling the world:

It happens to me every time I travel overseas. I talk with people who hear about where I’m going, and they always say the same thing: “That sounds amazing! I wish I could do that.”
My reply is always the same: “What’s keeping you from it?”

Yes, I would like that Chris. I've been to some pretty amazing places, but if I could go anywhere in the world, I would go to Turkey. Hands down.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

You Make Me Feel Like Dancin'

2010-11-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

In honor of the last post, I thought I'd share my favorite songs for Happy Dancing.

In college I might have Happy Danced so vigourusly that my downstairs neighbor thought I was having serious trouble.

Happy dancing!!

Black Keys - Tighten Up

Slumdog Millionaire - Jai Ho!

Rusted Roots - Send Me on My Way

Simon and Garfunkel - Cecilia

Florence and the Machine - A Kiss with a Fist

Dirty Heads - Stand Tall

Sweatshop Union - Oh My

A Goofy Movie - Stand Out

List 8: Songs You Remember Dancing To

2010-11-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

1. Pioneer dances
In fourth grade, we had Pioneer day. We learned square dancing. I had to dance with a boy I didn't like. Gross.

2. Waltz

In sixth grade, for Valentine's Day, we learned to dance. We learned all the essentials, the waltz, the tango. We even had dance cards like in the 19th century. What the?

3. Boot Scootin' Boogie

Apparently, this dance is relegated to those places where conservatives, Bibles and rednecks abide. None of my friends in California knew what I was talking about. I performed it and everyone laughed at me.

4. Macarena

I loved this dance. I still love this dance. What's it to ya?

5. Awkward Middle School Slow Dance to Savage Garden
AHHHHHHH.

6. Cowboy Take Me Away
I danced to this at church camp. The boy asked me to dance on his feet. What the?

7. Any American hip-hop song
Italy. Every night straight for a week.

8. Smells Like Teen Spirit
Dance club in Monaco. A fat French man tried to kidnap me. He picked me up and I kicked his fat belly.

List 7: Fashion is Smashin

2010-10-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

creditcreditcredit

Over at Yes and Yes, Sarah Von indulges in list making every Sunday. She also travels the world and is all sorts of awesome.

The List:

Fashion Trends.

1. Fifth Grade
Let's be honest. I didn't have the best fashion sense. For some reason, I decided I had to wear a dress for fifth grade picture day. Everyone else is in t-shirts and overalls. Then there's me. Bottom row. In a dress with a huuuuge collar and blue and yellow flowers. Keepin' it classy.

2. Sixth Grade
I had a track suit combo I loved. It was yellow and stretchy. Combined with tennis shoes (the big, white kind for running) and a stretchy tattoo necklace, I. was. so. cool. I also had a perma-ponytail. Everyone had a stretchy, fake tattoo necklace right?

3. Seventh Grade
My jr. high decided we needed to wear uniforms. However, some days, we got a free day to wear whatever we wanted. My mom bought me: a long sleeved Tommy Hilfinger shirt, a pair of Lucky jeans and Doc Marten mary janes. I also had short bleached blonde hair and wore a lot of white eye makeup. Nobody from elementary school recognized me. When I walked through the halls at school, a girl yelled at me, "Prep!"

4. Tenth Grade

I cut off my hair. It was supposed to look like Mia Farrow, but ended up looking more like a mushroom.

5. Eleventh Grade
My poor mushroom hair grew out. I decided that everything looked better with a bow and took long lengths of ribbon and tied them around the arm of my shirt and through the neckline. Big bows were always on my shoulder. Trend. Setter.

6. Senior Year
I had long, stringy bleached blonde hair, the result of a home highlighting gone wrong. I wore a lot of black eyeliner. Taylor Momson took inspiration from me. Kidding. Eventually, I got a normal hair cut and wore high heels. My teacher called me Barbie.

7. Freshman Year of College
Arrived in California with a whole mess of blonde curls. Scared my roommate and she thought I was a total weirdo.

Which I might be. :)

Halloweird

2010-10-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

Excuse the duck face. I'm a princess. My Aunt made this awesome crown.

JoHanna and I at work. She is Stands with a Fist from Dances with Wolves and I am a Masquerader.

Don't ask.

These are the wigs for our Kardashian outfits. We didn't get a picture of us all dressed up. Which is okay.

It's not Business...it's Personal

2010-10-25T21:35:00.000-07:00

image credit heeey-o

It started at a young age. Gathering pens and several of my best notebooks, I climbed onto my bed to scribble out story after story. Using a mattress as a news desk, my brother and I were anchors. Dad was sound and camera crew and Mom was part of our loyal audience of one. Car accidents happened, babies were born, new shopping malls were opened and magic shows were announced. I was always busy writing as a child. Not only did I produce several years of Wood Television News; I also frequently penned The Wood Newsletter. There was nothing better than capturing the days' events, solidifying them into 12 point font. Letters marched across the page like ants, though I was unsure of their destination.

Years later, a high school teacher introduced me to a new passion. Sitting in a darkened classroom, the projector lighting the far wall of the room in blue haze, my teacher flipped through slides. We, a group of teenagers, sat silently dozing in the blue film. The slides advanced and an electricity permeated the air. The Calling of St. Matthew by Caravaggio filled screen, its tenebrisim breaking through our darkened stupor. It was as if every shard of Greek pottery, every serene Roman statue, every inch of canvas sped towards this painting and culminated in these brushstrokes, this contrast between darkness and light. This tension between changing one's life and rejecting an opportunity. It was then I realized my high school life hung on this tension. This was my defining moment. I could continue on towards the nearby colleges chosen by my friends, surrounded by the same people I grew up with, feel comfortable fitting the mold, or I could challenge my self. Break free from my comfortable surroundings and embrace a life changing opportunity. I left my home, moved to California and graduated early from university with a Bachelor's degree in Art History.

Returning to my home town after graduation has again placed me at that point of tenebrisim, that breaking point between light and dark. Rather than settle for unchanging experiences, I choose to continue carving my own path, create my own light. Ultimately, it is my goal to bring the same inspiration to others; sharing the world of culture and visual arts as well as continue to challenge myself, my world view, my beliefs and experiences.

List Six: Favorite Teachers

2010-10-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

The wonderful Sarah Von over at Yes and Yes makes a list every Sunday. She also travels the world and loves cheese. In my mind, we could be best friends. Here's the list:

1. Mrs. Kahmedoost

Pretty sure I spelled that wrong. But, she let me tutor the other kids in reading (yes I ~~was~~ am ~~nerd~~ awesome) and recommended plenty of books that I loved including Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.

2. Mrs. Hinton-Smith

Epic puppet shows made with paper-mache and light bulbs. Water colored fish kites. And she helped me improve my writing.

3. Mrs. Winter

Introduced me to Sharon Creech. I love you Bloomability, Walk Two Moons and Chasing Redbird. Also led me to read Julie of the Wolves and almost every book by Scott O'Dell and fantasize about living in Alaska and racing in the Iditorod.

4. Miss Westenskow

Made college look easy. With monthly reports, handcrafted castles we lived in for a week AND a musical performed entirely by sixth grade students, I'm surprised she didn't go crazy. She also read to us everyday after lunch.

5. Mr. Hall

Taught me how to write. Taught me to love art history. Also called my group of friends moles after we fell asleep repeatedly in his first period class. My friend Lisie responded by laughing so hard she fell off her chair. He then called us monkeys. He also made fun of people behind their backs and once told me to watch out for birds trying to land in my nest of extra curly blonde hair.

6. Mrs. Riley

Taught me to write. Hands down, would not know how to write without her. I still have my English notebook from her AP English Lit class. When my little sister asks me to borrow it, I will not let her.

7. (Okay I had to cheat) Dr. Colburn

I'm sure she hates me for coming late to her class everyday. She edited my senior thesis and took us to all the coolest museums. She's also an AWESOME cook and very smart. And patient. And speaks Italian. And French. And German. Bear would also like me to add that her use of four letter words was especially fantastic as well.

8. (Had to cheat again) Melia

Taught me about Hindu art and caused me to be soo obsessed with India I had to visit. She took us to a Hindu temple. She was so excited about art, it made me excited to learn. She also has cool tattoos.

Honorable Mention:

Nelladet, my internship teacher. She called me Barbie and my friend Willis Skipper. She let us talk during class. Once, she sent us out to evaluate customer service in places around the area. My friend and I went to breakfast and then to a used car super sale where we proceeded to test drive vehicles. While we should have been in school. When we were in no way old enough to test drive anything. Another time, Willis and I evaluated the customer service of a custom jewelry shop and tried on $9,000 rings after we told the owner our parents were divorced and started dating after we introduced them and were going to get married. Not quite sure if he knew we were lying. Thanks Mr. Fadel! Hold onto that ring for me!

Pretty

2010-10-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

pretty


sleep xoxo

Bear

YES!

what are you waiting for?

V

2010-10-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

image credit

Shoes and I have always had a special relationship. When I was three, my brother, dad and I went to visit the ponies down the street from my house. Naturally, this required pulling out every shoe that I own and pulling them into the stroller as we trekked across the empty field. It was of the upmost importance that I had my white jelly sandals as well as my ballet slippers and black tap shoes with me to visit the ponies. Though I was made of a little bit more spice than sugar, I did not own a pair of cowgirl boots. As Louis Sullivan said, “form follows function” and my little girl shoes were made for nothing but showing off in the girly-est of ways.

My family has an old video tape of one of my dance recitals on it. Ten or so little girls are lined up on the stage in black sequined leotards and pink puppy dog ears. Each prima ballerina is looking either right or left to copy the dance moves of the teachers hiding in the wings. A burst of laughter erupts from the crowd and the camera swings all the way over the the right side of the stage. One little girl is decidedly not acting like a Dancing Pup. Though her paws are up, they are waving more than they are dancing.

“Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Heather! Hi Brock! Hi Gramma! Hi Grampa! Hi! Hi!”

I keep waving excitedly. I'm nodding. The crowd breaks into applause. I'm smiling. I'm completely confident. I'm blowing the crowd kisses. All of this is for me!?

I get a similar feeling many years later when I take a city bus with my friends to the Tuscan country side. The golden sunlight so many artists captured on canvas rolls across lush green hills. The tree leaves flash past and seem idyllic. Away from dirty Firenze, the countryside is paradise. It's easy to see how Dante was so inspired. However, my mission is more primitive than that of the artists of the past. Though I love to write and draw and take photographs, I have willingly submitted myself to more hours on a public bus than I have ever experienced in the simplest of pursuits. My first goal I set for myself before embarking to Italy, (Find-an-Italian-Boyfriend) almost fully accomplished, I roped said Italian and several of my friends into a more proper pursuit: Find-an-Italian-Pair-of-Shoes.

We are traveling to what the Italians call The Mall. Another kind of paradise, the stores are filled with more of my favorite Italian Men: Versace, Valentino, Pucci. As with all dream shoes purchases, I have the perfect pair in my head. They have to be red. They, like all of my favorite shoes as a little girl, must have a bow. And, they must be sky high and guarantee a certain type of seduction. Perhaps not so proper after all.

I search high and low. Like the best relationships, the right shoe will just come to me. Out of nowhere. When I least expect it. It will feel just right. Almost as if it were made for me. It will guarantee the type of confidence I had a little girl. That feeling of I-Can-Take-on-the-World that everyone loses growing up as we are trained more and more to care what people think instead of being ourselves. Caring more about fitting in than finding, and being at peace with, ourselves.

The perfect pair reveals itself upon a Valentino shelf. Five inch, red leather peep toe heels with a bow at the vamp. For the second time in Italy, I've found love at first sight. I cannot, however, bring myself to purchase the shoes. It is too risky. It just wouldn't be right. My Italian takes the shoe off the shelf. Hands it to me. Tells me to just try it on. See if it fits. Walk around in it a little bit. He bets that the shoes sound nice when I walk. Click-clack. Click-clack. He stares intently at me as I walk. Though I didn't know it at the time, he perhaps had ulterior motives. I can't blame him though, I was looking for a certain kind of shoe. Hands shaking, I become the owner of a pair of red Valentino heels. I feel certain the earth will fall out from under me as we drive back to our villa.

The first opportunity to wear the heels comes at the close of our study abroad adventure. A university alumni couple has generously offered to take a few students out for drinks at the Four Seasons and dinner at one of Florence's best restaurants. We are dressed to the nines. No more black high heels for me. I slink into my roommates best dress. It's long and the neckline plunges. I practice strutting around my room in my heels. I've been practicing for fancy heels since I raided my Gramma's closet at a young age. I might have done it a few times.

We feel like millionaires at the Four Seasons, most sipping drinks named after Bond characters. I sit next to the brown eyed Italian, he shares my drink, but I refrain from drinking anything with a name other than Shirley Temple. The alumni eye us.

“How long have you been together?”

“What?” We look at each other and laugh nervously.

“How long have you been together?” they ask again.

“Oh, we...since...about five seconds ago apparently,” he manages.

We smile at each other and then glare at the group of students, searching to find the offending party who has obviously so erroneously led this couple to believe the two of us were dating.

We pile into long black taxis and speed into the Tuscan night to a place with frescos on the walls and plenty of wine in the cellar. The couple tells us to order whatever we want, the chef will cook anything. Later the chef comes out and showers us with rose petals. The couple turns to us again,

“When are you getting married?” they ask. “When are you meeting her parents?”

The Italian grabs my hand. He leans in and taps his glass with a fork. The table turns to face us.

“Actually, I feel like our relationship has progressed. We've been on two dates, counting this one. I feel like it's time to take it to the next level.” He again stares at me intently and then laughs, “will you marry me?”

The forks stop, the rose petals fall, the Italian owner tells me I have a body like a Coke bottle. I wave. I nod. The crowd breaks into applause. I smile, completely confident. I blow a few kisses. All of this for me?! I feel certain the earth will fall out from under me as we drive back to our villa.

List 5: Favorite Cartoons

2010-10-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

image credit

Over at Yes and Yes, the fantastic Sarah Von is obsessed with lists. She's also obsessed with travel, style and being insanely awesome. Naturally, I'm obsessed with Yes and Yes. Each week she posts a new list.

Here's mine:

1. Lady Lovely Locks
I have no idea how these videos ended up at my house. I watched them over and over and over again. Lady Lovely Locks has colorful, flying squirrel things called Pixie Tails, that live in her magical hair. She's always trying to run away from the Evil Raven Waves. I Youtubed this show in college and it kind of scared me.

2. Dark Wing Duck
Lets. Get. Dangerous.

3. Aladdin the Animated Series
I was obsessed with Princess Jasmine as a child. I was her twice for Halloween. I might still be obsessed since my idea of Heaven is living in an Arabian palace wearing a Princess Jasmine costume and being fed grapes.

4. Recess
Who didn't love this show?

5. Pepperanne
Remember One Saturday Morning on ABC? For those of us without cable (yeah, that was me), this was the next best thing. I had a love/hate relationship with Pepperanne. She was simultaneously really obnoxious and really funny.

Your turn.

la cinema

2010-09-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

The villa stood, stoically whitewashed and patched with gray stucco in an attempt at pietra serena. 18^th century buildings framed the garden, blooming with fuchsia bougainvillea and crawling with vines. The heavy oak door waited to be thrown open by the group of college kids crowded on the gasoline-chugging city bus.

After their 12 hour flight, they rush out of the tiny swinging doors, swarming the old villa, pouring into the landing, chattering excitedly and paring into groups of twos and threes. The program director's voice rings above the crowd, authoritative amidst the confused group of those who came to “study abroad.” I'll read off your names. Pick your roommates. The groups of twos and threes tighten as students divi up. ~~Boys~~ men on the bottom floor, women on the second, alternating, as if this will keep them from...studying.

Roommates assigned, giant suitcases are lugged up the stairs, the European elevator too small to hold all the essentials for studying in the Tuscan sunshine. After belongings are safely stored in rooms big enough to be called “servant's quarters” (the sinks, showers and toilets combined), students begin exploring. Venturing to other floors, feeling out their new housemates.

A small brunette with wild hair changes out of her comfortable traveling clothes. Sweatpants and teeshirt are discarded on the floor and traded for a filmy shirt and floating pink skirt, more appropriate for the Italian atmosphere. She meanders down the stairs, escaping a sour relationship back home to chase Titian, Caravaggio and da Vinci through Florence. Though she joked with her mother about finding herself an Italian man, she is determined to focus only on the artistic Italian masters. Her friends back home laughed at her. Everyone knows the right way to study abroad. She crosses the cool foyer on the bottom floor, trailing her fingers along the doorknob to her friend's room and pushes open the door. She pauses in the doorway, framing herself, startled at first. Her friend comes to the door. What? Lifting her eyes and brows upwards, her eyes flit across the room to the man at the desk.

Hey.

Months later, they sneak out the solid door, hoping to avoid the furtive looks from their classmates. The black button down shirt seen only at the first banquet dinner, the black high heels pulled out for more than Going-Out-with-the-Girls. You guys are going out? It's about time. So much for not being noticed.

They wander the cobblestone streets together, getting lost. He has the address, double checked it even. Just past the train station. The train station gets farther and father away, fading away into gray, brown and green chiaroscuro. Maybe it's this way? She tilts her head sideways, glancing up. Or maybe you've gotten us lost? She pushes on his arm. You know it's okay for men to ask for directions? Good thing she runs fast in heels. Que catso fai?!?

The night grows colder. He helps her climb over the edge of the bridge to sit on the stone buttress, jutting out into the smooth river. They sit. The lights from the shops glow, the moss covered stone is cold beneath their feet. The night gets later and later. The sounds of student drinking, bottles clanking – andiamo! – mix with pinpricks of light in the water. Don't push me in!! They sit, laughing. It's cold! she says again. They sit closer this time. It is cold.

They break off pieces of the buttress, scratch their names into the hard stone. Pietra serena.

B. You're officially old. You killed those exams today. 98%. I'm pretty proud of you! Have fun tonight.

Kenzie

2010-09-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a creative non-fiction writing class at...of course the University of Utah. Our first assignment was a riff on this piece. Here is my attempt:

Disclaimer

The following piece Into the Woods: A Memoir is a work of non-fiction. Everything in it is true except for the certain embellishments on the character of Kenzie Wood. Let me clear up a few things. As the youngest sister, she is of course the most spoiled: late nights with friends, sleepovers and the ever-present object of my parents' never ending praise. Soccer lessons, ballet lessons, art lessons. There is no activity my youngest sister does not conquer with a smile and a glint of determination in her eye.

At five foot five, she towers over my petite five foot two frame. I am forever obliged to refer to her as my "youngest" sister rather than my "little" sister. Even today, I am still questioned with a surprised, "I didn't know you had an older sister!" I smile and if the offending party happens to be a family acquaintance, rather than correct them, I whisper, "Oh. You didn't know? She's adopted." The looks are met with confusion, surprise and finally, acceptance. "That, that explains it. Well, that certainly explains it," they say. The healthy, round face, naturally blonde hair, (now dyed to match our own mocha dyed hair) and bright blue eyes have always set her apart from the rest of us with our thin faces, lank hair and size five feet. "Yes," I state. "We actually found her on our doorstep."

We repeated this story often to Kenzie growing up. Her nickname was (fondly) FedEx, due to the fact that she was so different from the rest of us, the only explanation for her existence was that she had been dropped off by the FedEx man. This story may or may not have been influenced by our grandfather stating many times over the years that he had bought our mother from Kmart at a Blue Light Special. At least my family had, in a sense, upgraded when we received Kenzie.

Though her characteristics in my piece Into the Wood: A Memoir are exaggerated to the fullest, my admiration for her is not. Larger than life, making friends with no hesitation, our FedEx is someone who can leap tall buildings in a single bound, score soccer goals with her eyes closed and of course torture the Middle Sister with her never ending supply of sugary pop songs from her radio. This happened so often that Middle Sister often stole the radio and buried it in the backyard, a talent she discovered at a young age when she stole all of our family's cordless phones and subsequently buried them in her sandbox. Middle Sister's nickname is Phone Murderer, but that's beside the point. Kenzie's zest for life and outgoing personality are characteristics that I, the introverted Older Sister with the nickname Hooked on Phonix, literally and figuratively still look up to on a daily basis. My exploitation of her willingness to be carted around on my urgent expeditions to India Fest, LACMA and the Spiral Jetty can only be described as schadenfreude on my part. Though her character as been exaggerated, there is no exaggerating my admiration for Kenzie and how much I look up to her. Even if she did arrive on our porch courtesy of a man in suspiciously short shorts.

Death, Protection and Power at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts

2010-09-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

Didn't actually make it through my ~~incredibly long-winded, art history filled~~ longer tour from the UMFA.? I cut down the essay to 300 words. An incredible feat for the girl whose last real writing project was a 27 page thesis on the similarities between Medieval European and Japanese Feudal art. This time I bring you a much condensed version of the tour of Death. Yes, I'm not only old, I'm also morbid. Come see the tour, or any other great Highlights of the Collection tours in person! Tour Times

The Utah Museum of Fine Arts at the University of Utah is one of the best places to explore cultures from around the world. Objects on display at the museum focusing on death, protection and power from Egyptian, African and Mayan cultures allow the mind to learn and expand -- all without leaving the Salt Lake Valley.

The "killer" tour starts at a 26th dynasty sarcophagus from Egypt. Decorating the wooden sarcophagus are scenes from the Book of the Dead that offered protection and guidance for journeying into the underworld. A proper burial was needed so the ka or spirit could find the body in the afterlife and included a sarcophagus like this one.

In the Congo, deceased ancestors offered protection after death. This small, smoothly carved Boyo statue is of an important chief and served a dual purpose. Honoring the deceased through these statues meant the Boyo would be protected from harm. These statues also established legitimacy as living rulers traced their heritage back to strong ancestors.

The last stop is a large funerary urn depicting the Hero Twins of Mayan culture in Guatemala and dates from 100 B.C.-900 A.D. Seeking revenge after relatives were murdered by underworld deities, the Twins turned into catfish, tricked the deities and became rulers. These vessels held the decapitated rulers’ heads and because Mayans believed their kings were descendants of the Twins, these vessels protected the kings’ power and memory.

After circling the globe, the exploration of death, protection and power comes to an end. Though the cultures are varied, protecting the memory and power of the deceased was a common goal. Come learn about and explore these, and other great pieces, at the UMFA located at the University of Utah at 410 Campus Center Drive in Salt Lake City.

hey BEAR

2010-09-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

I need more experience writing, that's for sure. B feels the need to light a fire under my a...

I need a few writing examples to apply for the Arts Journalism program. Thus, my tour for the Utah Museum of Fine Arts was typed and edited. And posted for your viewing pleasure. Mind my spelling and grammar. I haven't been to school in a year. Thoughts? (Hopefully nice) comments? I'm sorry if I put those of you not particularly interested in art asleep. Go read another blog. Kidding. Sort of.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” The Utah Museum of Fine Arts, located on the sprawling campus of the University of Utah, is one of the best places in Utah to do just that. Unique objects on display at the museum focusing on death and power from Egyptian, African, Hindi and Mayan cultures allow the mind to live, learn, explore and expand -- all without leaving the Salt Lake Valley.

The "killer" tour starts at a sarcophagus from ancient Egypt. This sarcophagus came from the 26th dynasty of Egypt, a time of great turmoil and war. A time when death was all too common. In Greek, sarcophagus literally means "flesh eater." The Egyptians, however, viewed the sarcophagus quite differently. What the Greeks called a "flesh eater" was viewed by Egyptians as a "flesh holder." A resting place. Egyptians loved living and celebrating a long, fruitful life. They hoped to continue these flourishing lives long into the afterlife. This sarcophagus reflects this desire, holding the body and keeping it safe until it was reunited with its ka or spirit in the afterlife. A proper burial was needed so the ka could find the body in the afterlife. A proper burial protected the body after death and included a sarcophagus like this one.

Decorating the wooden sarcophagus are symbolic scenes and elaborate incantations from the Egyptian Book of the Dead. These were meant to protect the deceased occupant and guide him through their perilous journey into the underworld. The name of each occupant is also included on the footboard of the sarcophagus. This particular sarcophagus holds a man named Padiusir. Padiusir's ancestors, like other Egyptian families, had immense respect for their deceased relatives. They believed ancestors could influence the lives of the living for better or for worse. Burial practices that protected the deceased were important for the living as well. Ancestors that made it happily and safely to the afterlife could protect the living. Padiusir's living ancestors also protected his memory by repeating his name over and over. This ritual also ensured a happy existence in the afterlife.

Egyptian burial practices helped protect the deceased by guiding them into the afterlife and helping ensure a happy life for ancestors both living and dead. Moving father into Africa, deceased ancestors also offered protection after death. The memories and life of the deceased is given power and protection in death. Like the Egyptians, the Boyo people of the Congo also believed their ancestors played an active and important role in the lives of the living. While the Egyptian sarcophagi on display is large, decorative and elaborate, this small, smooth, richly carved Boyo statue is just as powerful. With strong, circular arched eyebrows, a heart shaped nose and face and flat facial features, these small scale, wooden statues were usually of important and accomplished chiefs.

Each sturdy figure serves a dual purpose. When disasters strikes, the Boyo people try to interpret the will of the ancestors by dreams or other dorms of divination. By honoring the deceased through these statues, the Boyo believe the ancestor would be more likely to protect the living from harm or to influence future events for good. Memories of great chieftains and the legitimacy of their progeny are also protected through these statues. The statue of the ancestor kings were revered as much as a king himself and also helped current kings establish power and legitimacy as they traced their heritage and power back to their strong, ancestor kings.

Crossing through the museum and into India, the home country of the great Mahatma, the next cultural example presents a different view of death. Representing one of the most widely loved and worshipped Hindu gods, a 14th century ornate, granite Ganesha statue stands majestically. Exuding a jovial nature, as well as a sense of strength, he is known to bring good luck and fortune as well as the remover of obstacles. He is frequently prayed to before embarking on a new adventure or life experience. Ganesha's large belly and intricately carved elephant head are his most distinguishing features.

What is particularly interesting about Ganesha is how he acquired his elephant head. Hindu religion tells the story of a young prince asked to guard his Queen mother Parvati after his King father Shiva left home. Years later, his father arrived home and demanded entrance into the household. The young prince adamantly refused to let him in. Getting more than a little perturbed, the King drew his sword and severed the prince's head. The Queen mother pleaded with the King to revive her son. The King decreed a search for a suitable replacement for young man's head. An elephant head was found and the young prince became the elephant god Ganesha.

It is interesting to note only after his impending death did Ganesha become revered as the powerful god he is now. Hindu religion tells that because Parvati was so devastated that Shiva had destroyed her son, she request he forever be worshiped as the most beloved Hindu god and today he certainly is. This death was positive in bringing about a powerful, beloved deity renowned for protecting those journeying into new phases of their lives or searching for obstacles to be removed. It is also interesting to note that Ganesha death gives blessings and protection to all who seek him. Similar to the previous example from the Congo, the memory and legend of Ganesha connects him to powerful rulers. This connection legitimizes him as a deity and is the source for his own strength and ability to bestow blessings as he sees fit.

The last stop in the museum leads to the Mayan culture of Guatemala. Crafted from 100 B.C.-900 A.D. a large, sandstone colored funerary urn dominates the display room. This piece focuses on protection from the underworld through victory and power. Much like the Egyptian, African and Hindu cultures, the memory and power of those depicted are preserved.

This decorative funerary urn served a double purpose. Through depictions of victory and power, the idea of protection from the underworld is represented. Imagery depicting the first ruler of the Mayan gods served to protect the memory and power of rulers after death. A famous Mayan character is depicted in the underworld by stylized, horse-shoe shaped carvings. On the front of the urn, one half of the dynamic Mayan duo dubbed the Hero Twins is seen. The stuff of Mayan creation legend, these hero twins sought revenge after their father and uncle were savagely murdered by evil underworld deities. After many trials, a final battle was held between the twins and the underworld gods. The clever twins tricked the underworld lords by turning into catfish. The swirling scales and gills of a catfish are seen carved into the figure on the urn. Eventually, in their catfish disguises, the twins defeated the underworld and became rulers over all. The Mayan kings believed they were descended from these Hero Twins. Not only did the urn capture the feelings of power and strength, these urns also would have held the decapitated heads of deceased Mayan rulers. These vessels protected, quite literally, the King’s power and memory even in death.

After circling the globe, the exploration of death and power comes to an end. Though the cultures are varied and unique, protecting the memory and power of the deceased seemed to be a common goal. Whatever the medium, the goal certainly was reached. Come live, learn and explore these, and other great pieces at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts is located at the University of Utah campus in the Marcia & John Price Museum Building: 410 Campus Center Drive Salt Lake City, Utah.

Old and Young

2010-09-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I am really sixty years old. My varied interests include eating at diners, reading anything and everything (especially on my kindle), cooking, museums, long cardigans, travel, NPR, jazz music and waiting to retire.

My mom calls me "boring."

As in, "Why did you put my Pandora on all this Old People Music. I listen to Top 40."

I call it "classy."

What else is classy? A mix of old and young? Fancy and a little bit rock and roll?

The Section Quartet and The Vitamin String Quartet.

Both groups specialize in turning popular rock songs into all string versions of fantastic-ness. They've covered The Postal Service, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Oasis, to name a few. If I was hip enough to know how to embed a movie, I would do it. I want the soundtrack of my life to be Black Hole Sun as played by Section Quartet. It sounds dramatic and awesome. Like the soundtrack to a dark, Gothic novel. I think I just ceased to be cool with that reference. Sorry Mom. Guess I'm not cool enough quite yet.

Section Quartet Plays The Postal Service

Section Quartet Plays Black Hole Sun

String Quartet Plays Wonderwall!

String Quartet Plays Smells Like Teen Spirit!!

GRE GRE GReaaat?

2010-08-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

I just got my final GRE scores. I'm really happy with my verbal scores. And my writing score. Math, not so fantastic. Average. It's clear I think better in words and pictures than numbers. In fact, in Calc in high school, I was fantastic at drawing the apple falling at a velocity (v), but not so great at figuring out how long it took for said apple to hit the height of the tree (x). Good thing I'll never have to use numbers...*knock on wood*. I raised my quant. score by 200 points though, so imagine what it was before! All in all, I'm pretty happy with the score I got.

Now...to apply.

Addicted to Etsy

2010-08-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

I think I have a problem.

Too many cute things to buy on Etsy.

This flower necklace was made by The Crazy Craft Lady . I love it, I love it, I love it. Perfect with a dress. Perfect with a tee shirt. Perfect for dancing all around your room and...oh wait....

Getting the Heck Out of Utah...Err Dodge...

2010-08-29T18:03:00.000-07:00

Just signed up for this:

Creative Nonfiction I

LLWRC 760

Explore this multi-faceted and popular genre, which ranges in scope from literary journalism to personal narrative and memoir, in this interactive 6-week course. Through sample readings, discussion, in-class writing exercises, and writing assignments, we will learn to use the narrative devices--narrator stances, characterization, verb tenses, dialogue, and scene and setting--that make this form of prose especially fascinating and appealing. Open to writers of all levels of experience who are confident with basic sentence structure and composition.

So I can do this:

Arts Journalism

Traditionally arts journalists have started out either as artists who learned to write or as writers who became passionately interested in writing about an art form. The Goldring Arts Journalism Program has been created to meet the varying needs of arts journalists by offering a uniquely flexible combination of courses to meet the educational objectives of each student, while offering them the latest training in multi-media communications.

Students arrive with specialized expertise or declared interest in an area of arts or culture—architecture, film, music, popular culture, television, theater or visual arts. They may also pursue a track of general arts editing. Students take graduate-level courses that deepen specialized knowledge in combination with journalism courses will sharpen writing, reporting, research, and multi-media skills.

And spend all my time here:

And see a whole lot more of this:

Not looking forward so much to snow, but if it means I get to write about something I love, I'll take it! Here's to hoping I get in...and hoping I don't freeze my a off.

Be careful out there Bear. Fight back with a vengeance. Maybe Hurricane Earl will delay the start of your school...looks like we're both bound for bad weather.

new favorite things

2010-08-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

♥ Budget Bytes

delicious food all at delicious prices

♥ Weardrobe

i'm sure i'm all sorts of behind on this and this
Lookbook

♥ mariannan

this girl is super cute. super cute clothes and super cute pictures

♥ plink

LOVE this girls hair.

Keeping Away Vampires

2010-08-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

The Farmer's Market in Pioneer Park is a good place for fresh ingredients. I bought a big ole' bag of basil to make pesto and bruschetta with. Thanks Kenz for going with me.

Whew. Five cloves of garlic later...I'm scaring away Team Edward and Team Jacob. The pesto was absolutely delicious though. Loved it. Fresh basil and fresh tomatoes really make all the difference. It's great to cook something new. I haven't cooked anything since Angry Pasta. Good thing Bear is living it up on the island with his family. Hope they have a great time. I'm sending sunshine your way guys. The food is fantastic.

Pesto Like An Italian Gramma

It's called Bruschetta...that's BRU-SKET-A

One day, I will become a fabulous chef. I tend to use one really, really strong flavor. Almost like a pop of color. Let's drool over fabulous kitchens for my future chef self. Loving those pops of color:

Bent Objects

2010-08-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

aren't these little guys funny?

bentobjects.blogspot.com

paintings

2010-08-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

the people of beloit, wisconsin are awesome.

less than three

2010-08-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

weheartit dot com

Stars

2010-08-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

love this tumblr

We're All Made of Stars

Bear...good luck on your finals and tests. First semester almost done! You're doing great Dr. Crisafi.

Lobster

2010-07-30T09:18:00.001-07:00

I Really Don't Like Mondays

2010-07-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

Or Tuesdays in the guise of Mondays because I got the holiday off.

I also don't like having the flu. Which is what I'm pretty sure I have.

I don't like going to Instacare, but I'm afraid I must because I have no other choice.

Oh. I do like selling my laptop though. Finally. Well, I guess it only took a week. Not bad. Not bad.

Onward to a MAC. And to this:

which looks like this:

which is one of my favorite Magritte paintings.

No. I did not want a Mac just so I could get that sticker on it.

At all.

Really.

I Don't Like Mondays But I Do Like

2010-06-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

NOT FALLING FOR SCAMS!!!

I'm attempting to sell my BRAND NEW laptop over the internet. Why lie, I want a Mac. I put my ad up on a local classified website and waited....I've never sold anything on the internet before. I was so excited when only a day later I received an email urging me to take down the post because they were incredibly interested and would purchase right away. I immediately emailed back my asking price and received a request to ship the laptop to a "cousin living abroad." The interested party would pay $100 over my asking price and wire the money "directly into my paypal account after shipping through DHL."

I Googled DHL and was instantly warned that many con artists request shipping through DHL and promise wiring money when in fact the laptop gets shipped who knows where and you get no money and...no laptop.

The gods of Wikipedia also let me know:

"...popular online classifieds websites [have] been plagued with scammers using advance-fee fraud and similar techniques, usually involving fake checks, to con people out of their money. Sometimes many scammers contact a person who is either attempting to buy or sell items on Craigslist, and attempt to perpetrate the exact same scam...sending realistic looking bank checks, sending more money than is owed, and requesting that money be wired back to the scammer.^[41]^[42]
Another advance-fee method that has been used recently on Craigslist is where the scammer will contact someone selling an item and ask them to ship the item to a location outside the US, then provide the tracking number for the shipped item in exchange for payment. The seller then sends the item and provides the tracking number, after which the scammer never provides payment."

Bummer. Be careful out there on the internet...but anyone else can still buy my laptop. As long as you're not a con artist.

Rude.

Things I Love Thursday

2010-06-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else feel like this was the. longest. week. ever? I don't know about you guys, but I get in a rut sometimes. It's tough to stay positive and not get sunk deeper and deeper into the same path. I'm so resistant to change! But, that is beside the point. Here are a bunch of inspiring images to brighten up the best part of the week...WEEKEND! Also, how cool is it that you can drag and drop images into here.

How awesome is this bed? And the chairs? And the wall stencils? And the chandelier?

i want a roll of tickets on my dresser

check out the blog 365secrets while you're at it...cute :)

this reminds me of color field paintings

Don't like Mondays, but I do like this:

2010-06-21T15:14:00.000-07:00

But. I do like this stuff:

Keep Calm Gallery

Maker of the above image. And many, many, many more awesome prints including of course ones like these:

The Happiness Project

I think I've written about this before. Gretchen Wilson is pretty neat!

Shoo Jimmy Choo

I like the idea of this. However, I don't know how to feel about the fact that the website includes the words "vaca" (as in VACA! Let's all go! Roadtrip! AHH!) and the fact that it contains multiple references to SATC.
But, let's face it. I'm a sucker for shoes and pink. This book has both and I'm tempted to at least download a sample to Kindlegarten and find out what this is all about. It has five stars on Google Ratings and the Google Gods have never let me down. The website has a whole bunch of good links as well. JoHanna showed me Mint.com which has a whole bunch of really good tools for budgeting and expense tracking. Check out a sample here.

Last, but not least, I do like Sarah Wilson. Especially when she gives me reasons to like Mondays.

Things I LOOOOOOVE

2010-06-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

weheartit.com

♥ well i like this picture for starters. Isn't she so pretty? Plus, she's also a great singer, she's the other half of She and Him

♥ Rogue Theory I just bought one of their Tech-ee sleeves for Kindlegarten. It's adorable. Sooo many cute fabrics to choose from. Always use protection my friends.

♥ Striped shirts

♥ Gourmandise. Each Saturday afternoon, I make it a point to try somewhere new and fantastic to eat. Usually My New Best Friend Yelp helps me accomplish this. Yelp told me to try Gourmandise. I did. And I am in love. With their grilled cheese on the yummiest cibatta I have ever had. With the yummiest mixture of cheese ever. Plus, a delicious brownie. Go! Go! Go! Next place to try: Carluccis.

♥ Real Simple magazine

♥ Italian sodas

IT IS ALMOST THE WEEKEND!

Kindlegarten: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

2010-06-16T15:15:00.000-07:00

In which I believe my mind has been...poisoned?

Those of you who know me...and maybe even those of you who don't...know that I am not by any means prudish. Some might even say I am a little more prone to Humor of the Male Variety. My sophomore year of college I was Queen of That's What She Said jokes. HOWEVER, I do have a heart. And my heart doesn't enjoy reading about certain subjects. Might I explain:

I am obsessed with Kindlegarten. I spend more time with My New Boyfriend than anyone else. I love that I can read basically any book in the world. After hearing all the hoopla surrounding The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I finally downloaded a sample. I approached it half-heatedly. I didn't really want to like it. I read the sample though. I was hooked. I really enjoyed the book. I was absorbed by the pure strangeness of the whole situation. Mikael Blomkvist is a financial journalist turned murder detective when his journalism career turns south. Lisbeth Salander is an outcast computer hacker with a strange past. How would the two of them become intertwined in the plot? Who really was behind the murder? Would Blomkvist get his revenge? And why does everyone in Sweden have a last name that starts with a B?!!?

I read pretty much every second I got. Until last night. I couldn't sleep. I powered up my Kindle (yeah, I sleep with it). Big mistake.

SPOILER ALERT:

3 AM is not the best time to read about some perverts awful sexual assault on a girl. Especially in such detail. I can handle a little bit of grisly detail a la The Kite Runner. But, this book (originally titled more appropriately in Swedish Men Who Hate Women) is rife with gruesome sexual assaults and murders. The disgusting thing is, these accounts of assault were presented in such a way that it felt like the female characters were so hardened by their circumstances it didn't really affect them. And the author? I think it takes a sick mind to write in such a detached way about so many horrible events. The dialogue was creepy and twisted. Although Salandar is a fiercely independent woman, the way her Advokat speaks to her is like he is a pedophile addressing a small child. Although she tries to act, she is only acted upon. Disgusting. Men Who Hate Women really is a more appropriate title for this book. Not one male character is this entire book has one redeeming quality.

I really wanted to enjoy this book. I was thoroughly disappointed with the content and graphic nature. Too many women (and men and children for that matter) are abused each day for me to even remotely enjoy reading a fictional account of such events.

No thanks. I'll pass. Deleted from Kindlegarten.

Late Things I Love

2010-06-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

Gaaah I had a whole slewwww of things I've loved these past two weeks. In no particular order:

♥ the grand opening of Sephora in UT
♥ spending a (#*$)#(*)$ ton of money at Sephora and getting a lovely bag that I put reading materials in
♥ NARS anything. Seriously, I know everyone says how awesome it is. But The Multiple has changed my life and my little sister loves the foundation.
♥ nail polish. especially sea green and ballet slipper pink
♥ wedges much like these that are six inches and I can barely walk in them
♥ Cafe Rio <3333333 as always
♥ g-chat ;)
♥ Keva with my little sister
♥ Soap and Glory ANYTHING. This brand is awesome. Everything smells AMAZING. The body wash smells just like my new favorite...♥ Dior perfume (curse you Sephora) In my head, I smell like a European woman. Although, when I lived in Europe, I smelled like Chanel...and diesel fumes. Which is also very European as well.
♥ the still. crappy. weather. (NOT)
♥ The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I have to give my weekly shout out to my boyfriend Kindlegarten. Has anyone read this? I'm not that far in, but so far, I've really enjoyed it. I talked with my neighbor about it and he said it got technical and kind of dragged. We are almost at the same part and I didn't notice this at all! Perhaps because I used to be a Journalism major? So far I'm really liking it and I didn't think I would.
♥ The Venus Embrace playlist on pandora
and finally....Sleepyhead by the Passion Pit.

Improving

2010-06-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

haha! I took another practice section of the GRE...my verbal score has gone up 10 points. I've been taking the time to actually look up the words in books that I'm not quite sure of the meaning. Yes, I read books with the dictionary next to me, but jokes on you because I'm ~~so cool~~ such an old, retired woman wannabe that my dictionary is actually on my Kindle. The great thing about the Kindle is that it HAS A DICTIONARY built in. Oh, dissemble. You can't fool me. Kindlegarten (yeah I named it) taught me what the word meant. So what that I already forgot what it means. Disguise or conceal. That's right. The fact that I have a Kindle does not dissemble my wish to be an old person who never has to work again.

Not Great at the GRE

2010-05-14T15:07:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I woke up at the bright hour of 8:30 and sped all the way to my GRE class. I felt like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde when she goes to Harvard for the first time. I (dressed up, despite the fact that I had maybe...ten seconds...to get ready) walked into a classroom full of people bumming it in their hoodies and baseball hats. Don't get me wrong, I love to be comfortable, but I was surprised that basically everyone looked like...a "typical" college student! I tried to smile and make friends with a few people sitting next to me, but everyone gave the "Okay Barbie, let's get serious" look to me. I went to college in California. A small, Christian college where "bumming" it meant rocking your Juicy sweats and Uggs. Basically everyone, even the boys, got dressed up every single day. Not only that, people were friendly. Not just a little friendly, really friendly. Even after the initial "Hey-I-Don't-Know-Anyone-Here-So-Let's-Be-Friends" wore off. If fact, I think most of California was significantly more friendly than anywhere else I've ever been. Bonus points if you can guess which university I attended.

Anyways, after the initial shock of that wore off, I proceeded to be shocked in another way.

Guys. The GRE is hard!

I'm not sure I remember how to do 8th grade math. It's possible it has been manymanymanyyears since I have done anything more complicated than adding and subtracting. We went to take the Quantitative portion of the test and wow! It was not exactly what I was expecting. I have the Verbal skills of a very intelligent person (as you can all tell right?) , but the math skills of this person:

( this is me. as a very small child. eating vegetable soup )

But, I will not get discouraged. I am DETERMINED! If I can learn to stop making crazy faces, I can make friends with these people. I can crack the Awful Quantitative part of the GRE.

Okay, I might have lied about the first part.

baby steps guys. baby steps.

Hey! Good job B. You got your white coat today. Good luck future Dr. B!!!

CV vs Resume

2010-05-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

Call me crazy, but I had no idea a CV and a Resume were two different things. I've heard of a CV before because, hello, I read books by Irish and British authors (love you Cecelia Ahern and Sophie Kinsella).

However, I just assumed that CV was a.k.a. resume. Little did I know, the CV is not just a British thing. Thanks for teaching me something to day Huntington Library. What are the basic differences you might ask? I asked my best friend Google and he directed me to the following:

"Answer: The primary differences between a resume and a curriculum vitae (CV) are the length, what is included and what each is used for. A resume is a one or two page summary of your skills, experience and education. While a resume is brief and concise - no more than a page or two, a Curriculum Vitae is a longer (at least two page) and more detailed synopsis."

So basically, a resume is what you tell your parents happened over spring break and a CV is what you tell your best friend. Much more elaborate and detailed...and...EXCITING.

problem solved.

Operation Get "Ship" Done

2010-05-01T11:31:00.001-07:00

Before I apply to graduate school, I'd really like to have an idea of...what I want to apply to graduate school for... Most of the seniors in my university's graduating class had internships. I decided (read...my parents decided) I needed to graduate a year early and therefore, I have no internship under my belt to help me decide what to do. I like plans and direction. Recently I have discovered that without some type of direction, my life is a complete mess. But, unlike university where you've got a nice little plan laid out in front of you detailing which classes you need to take, real life has no such plan. Or, as much "real life" as I've had living with my parents and working all day. So, I'm left to create my own plan. I've decided that I should at least try for an internship because the worst that can happen is that I am still here living at my parents and working all day. The best that can happen? Having a new direction in life.

May I present:

Operation Get "Ship" Done.
In which, I apply for an internSHIP and eradicate my feelings of insanity and directionless...ness.

Step 1. Research internships
Step 2. Write a better cover letter
Step 3. Apply for said internships
Step 4. Wait to hear back
Step 5. Accept (hopefully!?) an internship
Step 6. Take GRE prep. class so further direction in life can be obtained
Step 7. LEARN TO SPEAK FRENCH #*$&%$*$*#$*@

good luck dr. b

2010-04-30T18:14:00.001-07:00

today b is leaving to go to med. school. good luck dr. b. today is the day i figure out what i'm going to do while b. is away.

♥ searching for an internship
♥ taking that GRE class i signed up for gulp
♥ hanging out with my. new. boyfriend.
♥ learning french in my spare time so i can attempt to be smart in grad. school. thanks for nothing Pepperdine language requirement. does anyone want to tutor me?!?!?!? for freee or an awesome dinner?
♥ generally moping about
♥ g-chatting b
♥ synching b's and my calendars on google

let's just say....i need to find a lot of things to occupy my time.

Things I ♥ ♥

2010-04-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

♥ google docs
♥ grace for the moment
♥ dresses
♥ flip-flops
♥ Napoleon Perdis primer
♥ blogstalking
♥ yoga
♥ Real Simple magazine
♥ feeling loved
♥ getting ice cream with my dad
♥ MY KINDLE
♥ cooking classes
♥ CHEESE
♥ pine nuts
♥ {pasta}

and how much are y'all loving the SNOW? STILL.

Things I ♥

2010-04-22T17:15:00.000-07:00

grappphic

♥ sunshine and 77 degree weather
{and then 40 degree weather and SNOW}
♥ Scrub Your Nose in It by Soap and Glory
{seriously gave me theeee smoothest skin EVER}
♥ bright pink nail polish
♥ yoga pants
♥ flower headbands
♥ chunky necklaces
♥ RED
♥ skirts in warm weather
♥ my kindle (love, love, love, love, love)
♥ Life is a Verb
{(love this book. author Patti Digh wrote it to her daughters after she learned her dad only had 37 days to live. What would you do with only 37 days left? At the end of each chapter she gives an assignment to do for 37 days and then an experience to free write about. She has a blog too!)
♥ san francisco with b
♥ the anthems Smile On from the San Diego commercial. Thanks TV.

Spring Cleaning

2010-04-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

i'm going to tell you a secret

I'm loathe to ever clean anything. I wish I was more "Type A" so I would actually be more organized. Alas, this is an impossibility as I fail when it comes to organizing anything bigger than my desk at work. My desk is always clean. ALWAYS.

In a fit of...motivation...brought on by the fact that my house is 80 degrees and it's super sunny and I'm crossing my fingers that this warm weather stays around longer than the stupid winter did...I organized my room. Put away all my sweaters. Dusted. Vacuumed up a spider. Did laundry. Put away all my art history books. Put away my boots (goodbye bright red, suede thigh-highs).

And I collected information on graduate school. Gaaah. I need to sign up for a GRE class, sign up for a French or Italian class (thanks "You Must Be Fluent In AT LEAST One Other Language Requirement) and stab myself for graduating college a year ago and NOT APPLYING TO GRADUATE SCHOOL THEN. Not that I knew any French a year ago anyways. But at least I could pretend. I can either get a masters...or...become Dr. Wood. Art History PhD extraordinaire. Who can't spell vacuum. Or speak French.

On the other Dr. front...real Dr. not a wannabe one like me...Bear has an interview with St. George. WISH HIM LUCK.

2010-04-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS THIS SNOW

2010-04-05T22:18:00.000-07:00

It's official.

I.

hate.

THIS.

WEATHER.

Snow?! Note to weather: It is spring. NOT winter. Thanks.

Positive: Finally putting the expensive snow tires to good use. :p

Working on applying for an internship at Huntington Library.

Escaping this weather/reality/my job for five days in CALIFORNIA!

It is almost my birthday. Maddie and I have decided to call it A Banging (bacon) Birthday.

My dad said that was inappropriate. But that's just how we...are...especially Maddie.

Things I Love Thursday

2010-04-02T08:44:00.001-07:00

♥ gray nail polish
♥ yoga
♥ protein bars
♥ gala darling's spring mix
♥ comfy jeans
♥ my new hair color maddie, now i need a haircut.
♥ staying over at my gramma's house with my brother
♥ pizza hut pizza
♥ bertoli pasta "meal in a bag"
♥ my best friend
♥ planning "spring break" vacations
♥ sharpie pens
♥ calendars with pictures of nature
♥ the freakin' weekend
♥ going to see Fiddler on the Roof with Maddie
♥ snow for two days straight...in spring (NOT)

I spend all my time reading....

2010-03-28T16:11:00.000-07:00

This is to remind myself of new blogs I've found.....since I don't have enough to read already!

♥ Promise Tangeman is amazing! She's so creative and talented!

Promise....

♥ Jasmine Star Photography

♥ Soundtrack to My Day

♥ Petite Anglaise

Things I Love Thursday

2010-03-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

weheartit

♥ On the Town
♥ Sharpie Pens
♥ The Copper Onion
♥ Ricotta dumplings @ The Copper Onion. So. OMGood.
♥ White journal from mom for Xmas
♥ Searchlight
♥ lavender nail polish
♥ horizontal stripes
♥ my "less expensive" elephant bangles from India
♥ using the words "less expensive" instead of cheaper
♥ camera tote bags
♥ my blackberry
♥ zuummmba (just kidding. zumba is the devil)
♥ yoga
♥ holli the pilates teacher for pilasting me. owwww.

what are you lovin???

P.S. there was totally a stripper in my zumba class. YES.

Ten Steps to Success

2010-03-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

Olivia(Doesnt)Swallow[s]

♥ Have a creative career plan.

Mark points from one to twelve in your journal, one being where you stand now in your career, and ten being where you want to be in five years.

With the ten middle points, mark two things you could do each year to creatively impact your career.

• Account Manager
• update resume
• obtain internship/museum experience
• study for GRE
• take GRE (Summer!) *note to self: look into this
• get into master's program/ internship
• write master's thesis
• graduate!
• obtain letters of recommendation
• apply for museum job - ANY one will do now that you're a schmarty-pants
• Awesome museum job

Legally Blonde was pretty good. It wasn't as good as some other shows I have seen on Broadway. Because, I'm a theater snob. Dur. It was a fun time though. The show was really fun itself. Nothing ground breaking, but definitely a good time. The Young One and I got a good laugh out of it. And I've come to the conclusion that I need more color in my wardrobe. OMG! You guys!

As part of following my bliss...I'm working on a cover letter.

Life After College

2010-03-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

"There is no there, or better state. Make the most of this one – it is right where you should be – and the only place that’s real"

-Jenny Blake

Jenny Blake runs the website lifeaftercollege.org. A whole website dedicated to my state of being! Perfect. She's super smart and give great advice.

Tonight, my little sister and I are going to see Legally Blonde! I'm excited, this is one of my favorite movies. Plus, then I get to go to the theatre which is way better than the theater.

I feel like buying a pink dress....but it's too cold in this stupid state to wear one. Weather, where do you get off SNOWING on the fourth day of Spring? Snow thanks.

As part of following my inner bliss, today I am downloading my new and improved resume.

El sueño de la razón produce monstruo

2010-03-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

Homework:

♥ Discover what your 'real self' would do.

Draw a line down the centre of a page in your journal, labeling one ‘ego’ and one ‘real self.’ I’m going to give you four situations, and in each column I want you to write how your current ego would behave, and how you would really like to behave. If they match up, great! You’ve traveled so far in this journey and your amazing life is really coming together. If they don’t match, there’s still a little work to do.

1. You’re in a classroom debate, you know you have an excellent idea but there are a lot of big personalities talking all at once and you’re not sure you could back up your claim. Do you flush in the cheeks and say nothing, or bite the bullet and say your piece whatever the outcome?

• I think my ego would sit quietly and not say much. My real self (or ideal self) would speak up about what I think. In a tactful manner, of course.

2. Whilst shopping you spot a stunning dress that you could totally afford. It isn’t your normal style and is perhaps a bit dressy for everyday wear. Do you opt for a more sensible, plain style which won’t make you stand out, or throw caution to the wind and decide it is your chance to make a statement with your clothing?

• I'm always a bit dressed up for every day wear. I'd go for it.

3. You spot an advert for a job which has a great rate of pay and is exactly the kind of thing you’d love to do, but you don’t have every skill they list, and you know loads of people will apply for such a great position. Do you let it go, or apply anyway, deciding you’ll dazzle them regardless and simply chalk it up to experience if they reject you?

• Story of my life. Apply anyways. At least you tried.

4. Whilst on the bus a beautiful girl comes to sit next to you. She is dressed in a sparkly, interesting outfit and gives you a big smile. You can hear her iPod playing one of your favourite songs, and she pulls out the very same book you currently have on your bedside table at home. Do you feel intimidated that she is so much prettier and more expressive than you, or start up a conversation with the aim to make friends?

• My ego sits and feels like a loser because...obviously. My ideal self would be all, "OMG! Let's be friends." I can't talk to girls very well. They scare me. :)

I think M.Y.L.A. is working.

Thing I Love

2010-03-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

flikr

♥ yelp.com: greatest thing in the world for finding things to do
♥ red pepper flakes for making Angry Pasta
♥ The Kooks
♥ Gold's Gym
♥ yoga
♥ cobalt blue
♥ the weird machine at the gym that works your arms and legs and you look like a gazelle when you use it
♥ cream cheese wantons
♥ egg drop soup
♥ Phoenix

M.Y.L..aaaaaa

2010-03-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

I know, I'm so far behind on the Make Your Life train. My apologies. I went to California for a little while and was too busy soaking up the sunshine. I'm going to miss going every now and again....a lot. Really a lot. I think I'll keep up with M.Y.L.A., but I don't know how often I'll blog it.

Today was all about managing your time. Not just for planning and organizational purposes, but planning each day with meaning. In other words:

" ♥ Making the most of our time requires consciousness and awareness"

I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned from doing Megan's M.Y.L.A. series is that happiness is a conscious thing. Life isn't going to come and smack your over the head and demand you be happy. You guys? Sometimes. Life. Sucks. I've been feeling that way lately even though I have all kinds of great things going on around me. I've accomplished a lot. But life takes all kinds of weird turns and twists. And right now, I'm not all that enamored with it. However, I'm trying to have a better outlook even though it is far from what I want to be doing. Although, I don't have all that solid of a grasp on what I want to be doing.

Giving each day a purpose will help. I hate the feeling of ninetofiveandhometobed. But, that's what I do every. single. day. I hate it. This M.Y.L.A. came at a perfect time. I need my days to have a purpose now. At least one little thing that's planned to look forward to and break up the days.

So, I joined a gym. With classes! Also, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I watched American Idol. Haha. And, I'm going to try to go on adventures like I did in L.A. Any cool spots in the SLC I should know about? Yelp has become my new best friend. Anyone want to be my spinyogapilatesadventurenewbestfriend? I'm really good at planning adventures, I promise!

Things I Love Thursday

2010-03-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

I am such a slacker! Due to some strange work related shenanigans, I completely forgot to do Things I Love.....so, without further ado...what is "ado" anyways?

♥ musicovery.com.
♥ E.L.F. makeup...it's only one dollar people.
♥ Jeffery Campbell
♥ Badgley Mischka
♥ Indian music
♥ Adriana Trigiani
♥ Beauty Rush lipgloss
♥ My $9.50 jeans from Forever21
♥ NPR

Day 17

2010-03-10T12:26:00.000-08:00

alittleworld

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

♥ As a social species, we benefit from regular, friendly interactions

Unless you're Whitters and are therefore inclined to avoid people because you're a nut case, but at the same time, want to have more friends. This makes no sense. I realize this. I get in these moods where pretty much everyone bothers me and I want to be alone. Then, I want to have more friends. Typical of my indecisive nature. I think...just kidding. The funny thing is, even when I'm in my anti-social moods (more often than not), I always have a good time once I'm actually out of the house.

Homework:

♥ Take action on your friendships

In your notebook, write five things you could do to improve your friendships.

♥ Be proactive! Make an attempt to get together with people.
♥ More importantly, follow through with these plans.
♥ Be a better listener.
♥ Seek out new friends. Anyone want to be my friend?
♥ Keep in touch with friends better. Make an effort to see how they are doing!

Day 16

2010-03-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Love

Follow, follow to me charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"You have to focus on being the best you – because that is all you have."

Homework:

♥ Change your attitude towards jealousy.

Think of three incidents where you have felt jealous, or imagine three where you could potentially feel very jealous.

Why would you feel that way?
What, specifically, is it they have that you want?
Why don’t you have it?
Can you help that?

Now, use that jealous feeling as a tool rather than an obstacle, exploit it rather than letting it weigh down and depress you. Change your thoughts to proactive ones, ask yourself:

How can you have what they have too?
Or, how can you change your feelings about it to elevate yourself in spirits, regardless of whether you possess it or not?
Can you shift your focus to another, more suitable, more attainable goal?
Is that really what you want, or do you have higher aspirations?

Quite honestly, I don't think I'm ready to share with blogging world my petty jealousies. A lot of things I'm jealous of in people are so pointless. (That girl is prettier than I am!! The NERVE.) However, there are SOME jealous things I would rather keep to myself thankyouverymuch. I'll write them down somewhere you all can't read them and make fun of me. :)

Day 15...Say THANKS!

2010-03-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

macaroni & glue

"♥Take a moment to consider all that you already have, and be thankful..."

Homework:

♥ Say thanks.

Thanks...

Thank you for all the opportunities. For the chance to go to an amazing university, study abroad and meet all kinds of amazing people. Thank you for my best friend. Thank you for all the beautiful things in my life and for this beautiful world. Thank you for the sunshine and early mornings. Thank you for the love of my family and friends and all those who really care about me no matter what. Thank you for delicious food...especially butternut squash and feta cheese. Thank you for B. Thank you for good books and good discussions. For inspiring writers. Thank you for late nights. Thank you for the ocean and Tuscan hills. Thank you for mistakes made and love lost. For people forgiven and those who have forgiven me. Thank you for this chance to live, change, breathe and grow. Thank you for letting me be me.

Day 12...Sell Yourself! Err...not THAT way.

2010-03-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

i'm gonna leave

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"The logical place to start for success in these areas is to have a self that we feel is worthy, a self that we’d love to know if we weren’t us."

I always wonder if I would like myself if I wasn't myself. Would I think I was fun, exciting and positive or would I think, "oh my gosh, that girl ALWAYS has to be in the center of attention."? I would like to think I'm a positive, fun, genuine person to be around....who also happens to be the center of attention. Kidding. I also hope to be a good listener and friend. I think the main point here is to focus on developing your own positive traits so others can see them in you too!

"♥ Make yourself worthy to others, by being worthy to yourself"

Homework:

♥ Create a self-belief C.V.

Break it up into sections such as:

♥ Expertise & Talents
♥ Achievements
♥ Unrivalled Qualities
♥ Real-World Qualifications... or whatever you choose that sells you, to you!

Things I Love Thursday

2010-03-04T14:30:00.000-08:00

http://raull.tumblr.com/

♥ sunshine...when it lasted...
♥ skirts
♥ a clean room
♥ bbm's from Bear
♥ Rosi Golan
♥ my Juicy Couture pjs from B.
♥ weheartit.com
♥clothedmuch
♥ my red flats
♥ valentine's bracelet from mom
♥ coffee garden
♥ good customer service (i'm looking at you Cerra from qqest)
♥ coming home from work to find that my mom has made my bed for me
♥ fresh, clean sheets
♥ SLEEP! *EDIT: This proves how much I love sleep...my coworker said to me, "I know your two hobbies: reading and sleeping!" YES!
♥ this. best.thing.ever.

Day 11

2010-03-04T12:22:00.000-08:00

anton

Follow, Follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"we gain belief by letting go of the past and making the choice to believe or disregard whatever we choose..."

Easier said than done Megan! I have a hard time letting go of the past. Like...I still feel bad about this kid I was mean to in kindergarten. I don't think his family had very much money...and I don't think he bathed much. I called him "Stinkman" and then I had to apologize to him in front of my whole kindergarten class. It doesn't haunt me daily, but I still feel bad. I was a mean little kid! Say it with my now: "letitgo."

Homework:

♥ Be aware of your beliefs.

In your notebook, record three beliefs that would make a considerable, positive impact in your life. Even if you don’t quite believe them yet, word them as though you do, word them as unequivocal truths.

♥ I am an intelligent, well-educated museum worker.
♥ I am warm, caring and outgoing.
♥ I am secure with who I am and living life to the fullest.

"Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass" -Paul J. Meyer

In other news...what is WITH the weather lately. I thought it was spring! This weather is disgusting! Warm up please Utah and I might hate you a little less. Thanks.

Day...10?

2010-03-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

goddess of jealousy

"You have the right to believe in youself; you have the right to believe in your opinions..."

Homework:

What does confidence mean?
♥ being assertive (but not RUDE)
♥ making friends in any situation
♥ being decisive
♥ taking risks
♥ living life to the fullest
♥ participating actively in conversations

In Real Situations this is Realized By...
♥ speaking up!
♥ opening up to others
♥ seeking out others
♥ being in the moment
♥ initiating activities and interaction
♥ staying positive

Actions:
♥ eye contact, smiling, deep breath, good attitude, staying informed, going a little outside my comfort zone...

Day 9

2010-03-02T22:21:00.001-08:00

lalaines corner

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"♥ Like a Formula 1 race car, you need perceptive fine-tuning."

Homework:

♥ Suss out your productive self.

It’s time for a bit of ‘cause and effect’ science-project business: what elements line up to make you productive? Think of the last time you were really productive, in anything: what was the situation? What was happening around you? How did you feel?

♥ waking up early
♥ a clean, well-lit area
♥ sunshine!
♥ quiet, alone time
♥ classical music
♥ pen and paper
♥ Malibu, CA (okay, I cheated.)

What makes up my productivity?

♥ setting aside a lot of time for a project, but not so much time that i waste it
♥ a passion for whatever i'm doing - a genuine interest
♥ a desire to succeed and do well at whatever i'm doing
♥ a desire to be FINISHED with what i'm doing or at least made an attempt on it so i don't have to worry about it
♥ showing my end result to someone
♥ Malibu, CA (cheating again)

I need....time, a real interest, success and accountability. My productive self is timely (organized), interested, successful and accountable. Hooray for me!

Now if only I woke up everyday to sunshine and the ocean (hope you're not reading this Bear....)

Day 8 - Make Today a Change Day! errr

2010-03-02T11:56:00.000-08:00

bits of beauty

Follow, Follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"♥ Change is positive and empowering.
♥ Change will catch up with you; make it your friend and asset now.
♥ Change does not have to be active; an openness to potential change is often the key."

Yeah. How about not. How about I don't ever, ever desire to be open to change. NO THANKS. I hate change. I like tradition and predictability. Like the dad in Mary Poppins..."precision and order...except in my bedroom and car..." oh wait.....

*EDIT* I just uttered the sentence, "THIS is what happens when I relinquish control!" Control freak much? THIS is why I hate change.

Homework:

♥ Make today a change day.

1. In your journal, map out your normal day in bullet points. You can use as few as three, or as many as ten plus, of these points. Ask yourself: is this day good enough? Is it optimal? How can I implement change to upgrade my average day?

2. On a new page, map your day with at least one element of change (but the more the better.) Make it realistic, satisfying change that you truly want to see in your life, not a list of things you think the world wants from you. Changes can be very small at first; don’t overwhelm yourself or this exercise becomes obsolete. We want to encourage change, not scare ourselves off of it.

3. Now, implement it! Get changing! This is an exercise you should repeat regularly when you feel a dip in your spirit/lust for life/productivity. Reviewing and specifying what change really means and can do for us is an important aspect to a life that is fluid and budding and amazing.

I spend all my time reading....

2010-02-28T10:00:00.001-08:00

I'm kind of obsessed with reading blogs. Ask me what I'm doing and the answer will probably be..."reading..." or maybe..."sleeping." BUT, I keep adding new blogs to my feedburner and I really liked a couplemillion, and thought I'd share them:

♥Charadestyle.com-home of the fabulous Make Your Life Amazing series. Plus, Megan is just so cute!

♥ Secret Society of List Addicts - this one is for you Willis. I know you like lists.

♥ Galadarling.com - amazing style and life advice. I'm really into life advice at the moment.

♥ Not That Kind of Girl - Each day TKOG tries something new. And it's always funny.

♥ YesandYes - I love Sarah Von. She's always so positive and she loves to travel. And she gives fantastic - my favorite - life advice.

DAY 6

2010-02-28T09:36:00.000-08:00

feaverish photography

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"When we are conscious of our behaviour, our drives, and ourselves as beings, then we are on our way to big success; we stop sleeping through life."

Oh Charade, you read my mind! Tell me how to stop sleeping through life!

"♥ It is not the how of a bad habit, but the why that is important.
♥ Habits are our subconscious at work, therefore we can beat them with consciousness.
♥ Stop sleeping through life."

Homework:

♥ Get conscious.

Spend a day talking to yourself. Not aloud, in a crazy-bag-lady kind of way, but in your own conscious. Every time you go to perform an action, think about that action. Ask yourself: how do I feel now, doing this? Am I bored, tired, happy, sad? Why am I doing this? Is this a conscious choice? Make yourself accountable for every action. This homework doesn’t require any writing in your notebook but, if you get really inspired, it might be an idea to record some of the conscious answers you uncover.

Alright, if you see me talking to myself today...you know why.

Day 5

2010-02-28T09:17:00.000-08:00

awkward girl

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"The only thing that ever truly holds us back from the dream life we deserve, as I have said, is ourselves. Often, this is because we are stuck solid on events in the past...but what if we began to let our experience of the world be lead by our curiosity and aspirations of the future? what matters is where you go from here...Imagine a daisy growing out of the earth; how could it sprout upwards if it kept the weight of all that dirt on its tiny petals? It couldn’t, so it forgets its grubby roots, shakes of the soil and looks to the sun."

Homework: On an entire clean page in your journal, write an affirmation of forgiveness and forward-thinking.

♥ "IT ISN'T WHERE YOU'VE BEEN...IT'S WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO GO FROM HERE."

Day 4 (so I'm a little behind...what of it?)

2010-02-28T09:13:00.000-08:00

happy things

Follow, follow me to Charadestyle.com and take 31 days to M.Y.L.A!

"But confidence in ourselves is not always easy if we are relentlessly focusing upon our as-yet-unachieved-intentions, instead of the small successes we have already accomplished. Start thinking of yourself as a success now and your further intentions become real, within reach and deserved."

I really need to stop being such a "misery-bear."

Homework:

♥ Be sure of yourself as a success.

Write a list of five to ten things you have already been successful in, from the smallest exam, to the perfect interview, to cultivating an amazing talent or knowledge within a subject, beginning each line with ‘I am/have been successful in...’

By reminding yourself that you are already a success, the successful mindset becomes something far more solid and real-world to you, and perhaps you see that it was yours for the taking all along.

Next, write down five to ten things you would like to be successful in, from a precise skill, to abundant riches, to far-off travel, to marriage and kids. Write these as ‘I will be successful in/at/with...

♥ I

♥ i have been successful at...graduating college! (however, i would recommend never doing so and remaining a student as long as possible.)
♥ i have been successful at...finding a job.
♥ i have been successful in...volunteering at a museum and leading tours!
♥ i have been successful in...saving at least 2k.
♥ i have been successful in...studying abroad in my favorite country in the world.
♥ i have been successful at...learning how to cook! thanks b!
♥ i have been successful at...learning photoshop.
♥ i have successfully written a BA thesis. Even though it GOT DELETED OFF MY FLASH DRIVE.
♥ i have been successful at...learning italian and french. mi piace pasta! j'adore les chaussures. sono stanco!
♥ i have been successful in learning and increasing my knowledge of art.
♥ i have been successful at finding someone who makes me want to be a better person.

I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL AT....

securing my dream job...
living on my own...
getting a MA...
marrying my love...
finding what i love in life...
traveling the WORLD...Italy, Spain, Turkey (if it ever isn't dangerous)
doing what really makes me happy
educating others...
finding out who i really am...
making many different friends and creating stronger friendships...

I think I am afraid of two things...actually getting what I want and then figuring out that it's NOT what I wanted at all...OR actually getting what I want and then not having anything to "misery-bear" over. Is it possible to have a fear of both success AND failure. So therefore, not do ANYTHING. What a waste. I need to get out of the mindset of "but, what if I don't like it?" Well, WHAT IF YOU DO!? You won't know until you try.

Day 3

2010-02-24T15:03:00.000-08:00

the lovely stuff

Follow follow me to Charade M.Y.L.A.

"♥ Remember that it is a blessing, not a burden, to be who you are."

Homework: "♥ Gain self-understanding; spend a day with yourself.

Be an observer of all your own actions, whatever you’re doing, even if it is a completely average day. Keep your journal with you and make notes throughout the day. At the end of the day, rationalise ten truly individual and amazing qualities you have noticed about yourself."

~~Ahh nuts. I looked this one up too late. I'll have to do it tomorrow and write it all down!~~

As everyone can probably tell, I like talking about myself (well it is MY blog) and I like to be in the center of attention (who doesn't?) BUT, it was surprisingly hard to come up with ten things! Here they are anyways....

TEN THINGS:::

1. Despite the fact that I'm like the most anti-social person on the planet...I really do like making friends!
2. I'm good at multi-tasking.
3. I am creative and colorful.
4. I enjoy tackling a project.
5. I LOVE learning!
6. I'm friendly.
7. I make an effort to try my best.
8. I try to put my own "spin" on things.
9. I try to be efficient.
10. I'm generally a positive person...even though I'm realllllly sarcastic. It's all about balance.

♥

Day 2

2010-02-23T07:18:00.001-08:00

vk photos

"♥ Do you know yourself? Knowing yourself means a fast ticket to your amazing life."

Follow Follow me to Charadestyle.com Day 2 of M.Y.L.A!

Do I know myself? I guess. Homework for today is these survey questions:

♥ Who are you? Who am I? I'm a lot of things. The easiest answer would be...me! Whitney, Bear, daughter, girlfriend, account manager. Sometimes quiet, sometimes bubbly. Reader of books, lover of Italian paintings, Italians and Italian cheeses. Indecisive. Stubborn. Traveler. Future museum docent extraordinaire. Seeker of the truth. Lover of learning, California and all things Coffee Garden, Park Cafe, or Bruge. Me!

♥ Are you happy? Am I happy? I think I'm a fairly happy person. Currently, life choices are overwhelming me a little bit. That's why I'm doing M.Y.L.A. I ~~think~~ know I could be happier.

♥ What in your life really amazes/pleases/gratifies/encourages you?
Volunteering at the art museum. Traveling. Bear. My family. Interacting with others. Praise from others (white personality, people). Succeeding. Reading. Learning something new. All things Park Cafe and Coffee Garden. Good food. Sunshine!

♥ Where have you been when you have been at your happiest?
Italy. And any art museum.

♥ What occasion has caused you to feel the most amazed by your own life?
Being in Italy! Spending the summer there was absolutely amazing! India made me feel amazed in a different way. I felt so blessed!

♥ Where do you see your life going right now? Is this where you want your life to go?
Errrr......my biggest problem...I don't know! THIS is not it though.

♥ What does ‘amazing’ mean to you in terms of your own life?
Working in a big, sunny city in a fabulous museum. And I'm incredible organized. And independent.