Brocky Blue Head

I am the oldest child. For awhile, I was an only child. Then this kid came along:

Notice the big, bald head.

This is my brother Brock.

I was not impressed.

For a year and a half, I had been the darling one. The adorable one. The one who screamed whenever I was put down. The one who talked at six months and yelled, "He's looking at me!!!" every time her dad glanced her way. The one who wouldn't eat unless she had something to distract her.

What was this thing?  This monster?

I did not like it. It cried, especially when I tried to put it in a headlock. Or bite it, which I frequently did. Gnawing on its little fingers, I quickly dropped them when my parents looked my way.

The face of an angel?

Plus, it was bald. I mean, really, really bald. Its little head wobbled all around, gleaming at me. It had hair once. When it was born, it had a full head of black hair. Then it all fell out.

I, ever the problem solver, decided that it may be ugly, it may cry and hog the attention, but it didn't need to be bald and frightening on top of everything else. Ugly as a baby bird at birth, I myself had only the thinnest of hair.

I had a plan.

My parents left me unsupervised. HaHA! Perfect. I sneaked into where it lay -- unsuspecting. Its little head bald as an egg. I took out my blue colored marker.

I approached, quietly. Sneakily. I uncapped the marker.

And colored all over its little head.

My parents suspected something. The jig was up.

Preemptively I screamed,

"LOOK! IT'S BROCKY-BLUE HEAD!!!!!" 

My parents were not amused. 

They took away my markers. 

And I my hair stopped growing until the age of four. 

Behold my bowl cut.

  -whitters

Happy Dance

Thanks B :)

la cinema

The villa stood, stoically whitewashed and patched with gray stucco in an attempt at pietra serena. 18^th century buildings framed the garden, blooming with fuchsia bougainvillea and crawling with vines. The heavy oak door waited to be thrown open by the group of college kids crowded on the gasoline-chugging city bus.

After their 12 hour flight, they rush out of the tiny swinging doors, swarming the old villa, pouring into the landing, chattering excitedly and paring into groups of twos and threes. The program director's voice rings above the crowd, authoritative amidst the confused group of those who came to “study abroad.” I'll read off your names. Pick your roommates. The groups of twos and threes tighten as students divi up. Boys men on the bottom floor, women on the second, alternating, as if this will keep them from...studying.

Roommates assigned, giant suitcases are lugged up the stairs, the European elevator too small to hold all the essentials for studying in the Tuscan sunshine. After belongings are safely stored in rooms big enough to be called “servant's quarters” (the sinks, showers and toilets combined), students begin exploring. Venturing to other floors, feeling out their new housemates.

A small brunette with wild hair changes out of her comfortable traveling clothes. Sweatpants and teeshirt are discarded on the floor and traded for a filmy shirt and floating pink skirt, more appropriate for the Italian atmosphere. She meanders down the stairs, escaping a sour relationship back home to chase Titian, Caravaggio and da Vinci through Florence. Though she joked with her mother about finding herself an Italian man, she is determined to focus only on the artistic Italian masters. Her friends back home laughed at her. Everyone knows the right way to study abroad. She crosses the cool foyer on the bottom floor, trailing her fingers along the doorknob to her friend's room and pushes open the door. She pauses in the doorway, framing herself, startled at first. Her friend comes to the door. What? Lifting her eyes and brows upwards, her eyes flit across the room to the man at the desk.

Hey.

Hey.

Months later, they sneak out the solid door, hoping to avoid the furtive looks from their classmates. The black button down shirt seen only at the first banquet dinner, the black high heels pulled out for more than Going-Out-with-the-Girls. You guys are going out? It's about time. So much for not being noticed.

They wander the cobblestone streets together, getting lost. He has the address, double checked it even. Just past the train station. The train station gets farther and father away, fading away into gray, brown and green chiaroscuro. Maybe it's this way? She tilts her head sideways, glancing up. Or maybe you've gotten us lost? She pushes on his arm. You know it's okay for men to ask for directions? Good thing she runs fast in heels. Que catso fai?!?

The night grows colder. He helps her climb over the edge of the bridge to sit on the stone buttress, jutting out into the smooth river. They sit. The lights from the shops glow, the moss covered stone is cold beneath their feet. The night gets later and later. The sounds of student drinking, bottles clanking – andiamo! – mix with pinpricks of light in the water. Don't push me in!! They sit, laughing. It's cold! she says again. They sit closer this time. It is cold.

They break off pieces of the buttress, scratch their names into the hard stone. Pietra serena.

B. You're officially old. You killed those exams today. 98%. I'm pretty proud of you! Have fun tonight.

Death, Protection and Power at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts

Didn't actually make it through my incredibly long-winded, art history filled longer tour from the UMFA.? I cut down the essay to 300 words. An incredible feat for the girl whose last real writing project was a 27 page thesis on the similarities between Medieval European and Japanese Feudal art. This time I bring you a much condensed version of the tour of Death. Yes, I'm not only old, I'm also morbid. Come see the tour, or any other great Highlights of the Collection tours in person! Tour Times

The Utah Museum of Fine Arts at the University of Utah is one of the best places to explore cultures from around the world. Objects on display at the museum focusing on death, protection and power from Egyptian, African and Mayan cultures allow the mind to learn and expand -- all without leaving the Salt Lake Valley.

The "killer" tour starts at a 26th dynasty sarcophagus from Egypt. Decorating the wooden sarcophagus are scenes from the Book of the Dead that offered protection and guidance for journeying into the underworld. A proper burial was needed so the ka or spirit could find the body in the afterlife and included a sarcophagus like this one.

In the Congo, deceased ancestors offered protection after death. This small, smoothly carved Boyo statue is of an important chief and served a dual purpose. Honoring the deceased through these statues meant the Boyo would be protected from harm. These statues also established legitimacy as living rulers traced their heritage back to strong ancestors.

The last stop is a large funerary urn depicting the Hero Twins of Mayan culture in Guatemala and dates from 100 B.C.-900 A.D. Seeking revenge after relatives were murdered by underworld deities, the Twins turned into catfish, tricked the deities and became rulers. These vessels held the decapitated rulers’ heads and because Mayans believed their kings were descendants of the Twins, these vessels protected the kings’ power and memory.

After circling the globe, the exploration of death, protection and power comes to an end. Though the cultures are varied, protecting the memory and power of the deceased was a common goal. Come learn about and explore these, and other great pieces, at the UMFA located at the University of Utah at 410 Campus Center Drive in Salt Lake City.

I Really Don't Like Mondays

Or Tuesdays in the guise of Mondays because I got the holiday off.


I also don't like having the flu.  Which is what I'm pretty sure I have. 

I don't like going to Instacare, but I'm afraid I must because I have no other choice.

Oh.  I do like selling my laptop though.  Finally.  Well, I guess it only took a week.  Not bad. Not bad.

Onward to a MAC.  And to this:

which looks like this:

which is one of my favorite Magritte paintings.


No.  I did not want a Mac just so I could get that sticker on it.

At all.

Really.

I Don't Like Mondays But I Do Like

 NOT FALLING FOR SCAMS!!!


I'm attempting to sell my BRAND NEW laptop over the internet.  Why lie, I want a Mac.  I put my ad up on a local classified website and waited....I've never sold anything on the internet before.  I was so excited when only a day later I received an email urging me to take down the post because they were incredibly interested and would purchase right away.  I immediately emailed back my asking price and received a request to ship the laptop to a "cousin living abroad."  The interested party would pay $100 over my asking price and wire the money "directly into my paypal account after shipping through DHL." 

I Googled DHL and was instantly warned that many con artists request shipping through DHL and promise wiring money when in fact the laptop gets shipped who knows where and you get no money and...no laptop. 

The gods of Wikipedia also let me know:

"...popular online classifieds websites [have] been plagued with scammers using advance-fee fraud and similar techniques, usually involving fake checks, to con people out of their money. Sometimes many scammers contact a person who is either attempting to buy or sell items on Craigslist, and attempt to perpetrate the exact same scam...sending realistic looking bank checks, sending more money than is owed, and requesting that money be wired back to the scammer.^[41][42]
Another advance-fee method that has been used recently on Craigslist is where the scammer will contact someone selling an item and ask them to ship the item to a location outside the US, then provide the tracking number for the shipped item in exchange for payment. The seller then sends the item and provides the tracking number, after which the scammer never provides payment."

Bummer.  Be careful out there on the internet...but anyone else can still buy my laptop.  As long as you're not a con artist. 

Rude. 

Don't like Mondays, but I do like this:

But. I do like this stuff:

Keep Calm Gallery

Maker of the above image. And many, many, many more awesome prints including of course ones like these:

The Happiness Project

I think I've written about this before. Gretchen Wilson is pretty neat!


Shoo Jimmy Choo

I like the idea of this. However, I don't know how to feel about the fact that the website includes the words "vaca" (as in VACA! Let's all go! Roadtrip! AHH!) and the fact that it contains multiple references to SATC.
But, let's face it. I'm a sucker for shoes and pink. This book has both and I'm tempted to at least download a sample to Kindlegarten and find out what this is all about. It has five stars on Google Ratings and the Google Gods have never let me down. The website has a whole bunch of good links as well. JoHanna showed me Mint.com which has a whole bunch of really good tools for budgeting and expense tracking. Check out a sample here.

Last, but not least, I do like Sarah Wilson. Especially when she gives me reasons to like Mondays.