Ass-ets

 image source

In my quest to become fatter, I decided to try the Tin Roof Grill. It has a hip, trendy, sports bar feel to it. I know that sounds like an oxy-moron. The inside is a mix of sports bar meets hipster and the food is bar food meets tapas bar. Identity crisis?!? Tin Roof Grill, what are you!? Are you the place where those girls who don't like to eat wings (I don't know any) could go and watch sports with their boyfriends? The plethora of flat screen TV's and fancy appetizers tell me yes. I think. 

I ordered croquettes, which are little deep fat fried ham and cheese sandwich balls. Yum. Deep fat fry anything and I will eat it. Even fish. They were pretty good, but they scalded the roof of my mouth! Owwww. I also had a cup of french onion soup. It was good, but the cup was so tiny. How am I supposed to get fat off THAT!?

-whitters

Delicious-ness aka I'm obsessed with The Copper Onion

I love to eat. Did you know that? I know I'm a scrawny little guy, but seriously. Food.

If the sun can manage to shine for more than two hours, I want to try out some new places. It's been a long while since I have tried anything new. My love affair with the carbonara at The Copper Onion has prevented me from trying anything new. That pasta is like heaven on earth. It was the first solid food I ate after having my gum graft. The cook remembers me when I come in (or is really, really good at pretending) and the staff is attentive. I haven't been there in awhile and I think I need to go ba-

No, I need to try some new places.

The Rose Establishment.Salt Lake City. Definitely trying this one out for my early-out Friday's. Tiny coffee house, but it looks really cute. I'm a sucker for cute.

Britton's Sandy. I'm probably going to try this one out today while I wait for Kenzie to be done with harp lessons.

Tin Roof Grill Sandy. I pass this when I drive right by the gym I should be frequenting because I've given up laziness for Lent. Probably going to try this on a Friday too.

Tin Angel Cafe  Salt Lake City. Not to be confused with the above. This place apparently sponsors my other love in life, NPR. One Yelper said her friend from Provo described the Tin Angel as "Hippie Nonsense." I'm on board with that! Anything Happy Valley hates, I love. Definitely another early-out Friday pick. Gnocchi! Brie! Mushrooms! Chickpeas! If I wasn't diversifying my assets tomorrow (you think I'm joking, but I'm not), I would stop by here. Maybe I still will...diversify my ass..ets. I wish. Then maybe my pants will stop falling down. Maybe I should give up being scrawny for Lent.




-whitters

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: Eight

So, I'm fairly good with words. You must agree if you're reading this. I like words. I like big words. Small words. New words. Nerdy words. One of my favorite books is the Phantom Tollbooth because of the proliferation of puns. (Apparently they are making it into a movie!!!)

JoHanna and I are in charge of writing a handbook for my work. The handbook is about kitchen remodeling. I have never remodeled anything nor do I know anything about it. But, here JoHanna and I are writing a handbook. It looks amazing, by the way, and is really good.  I'd use it. After many drafts, we present our book to our boss. He looks at it. Reads it. Practically points out each word with his finger the way a kindergartener does. He stops.

'I don't like this word."

"Which word?"

"Problematic."

"Uh, why?"

"It's a Big Word."

"Problematic? I use it all the time...it's not a hard word..."

"Oh. Sorry. We didn't all go to [Fancy Liberal Arts University in Southern California]."

Blank stare. More blank stare. Really blank stare. This is starting to get problematic.

"Well.  I've been speaking since I was six months old. I've been collecting words ever since. So..."

Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.

Apparently, problematic is now a Five Dollar Word.

pedantic, pretentious boor. 

Side note: An ex-boyfriend's sister-in-law majored in journalism. At her Thank You All for Coming wedding speech, she said she didn't want to write anything down because it would probably sound pretentious.

Hey, congratulations. Not being pretentious? Didn't happen.

Then, the entire family made fun of her behind her back. Which is malicious, spiteful, or overbearing.  See what I did there?

You might be addicted to books if...

thanks picaresque. i like that her url means pen name. :)

1. You buy your purses based on how many books you can fit inside. {Yes, yes, yes! Although, now that I have a Kindle, I don't need a big bag...}
2. The Fed Ex and UPS carriers, know you by name. [Well...not because of books. Usually because of the strange things I buy off of Etsy. But, that's a different post.]
3. Your family refuses to buy you books because they don't want to support your habit. [My family is full of enablers.]
4. You own multiple versions of the same book. [I do. But, usually because I lose them. Then find them. Then lose them again. Or ruin them with bathtub water or sand.]
5. You dream about books. (Getting them... meeting the authors that write them.) [Not sure about this one.]
6. You always have at least one book on you at all times. Even if it's just a quick trip to the dollar store. [Kindlegarten is with me at all times. Everywhere I go. Work, mall, car wash...]
7. You usually help shoppers at the bookstore, because you are more knowledgeable than the staff. [Noo...I did that once a Sephora though and I thought the girl working there might stab me with a makeup brush. Go Makeup Forever!]
8. You've been known to skip family functions or outings with friends because you can't stop reading. [Yes. I like books more than you.]
9. There are books in every room of your house. [Everywhere.]
10. If you are within five miles of a bookstore, you find yourself drawn to it like a homing device from the mothership. [I work by Barnes and Noble. I have to tell myself to look away.]

I did not die

Don't worry everyone. I did not die.

My surgery went well.

I have amazing talents while totally high.

For example:

My dad apparently thinks I can function normally in my appointed position as Human Dictionary.

He took me to the doctor's office and started to type out an email. He asked me a grammar question right after I had taken oral sedatives.

I stared at him.

He then said, "Oh right. Why am I asking you?"

HOWEVER, my amazing mental capacity was proven later last week.

I couldn't remember my follow up appointment. So I called the doctor's office. They let me know the time and date.

I went to put it in my Blackberry.

Lo and behold: IT WAS ALREADY THERE.

The address, which I can't even remember sober, was there correctly along with the date, time and doctor's name. I typed it in while totally off my rocker.

Moral of the story:

DO MORE DRUGS. I function better that way.



I am joking. Obviously.

GUMS

Ugh.

Because I have the worst genes in the world (Thanks Gramma), I am the lucky recipient of a....

FREE GINGIVAL GRAFT!

no, it's not free. 

no, it's not fun.

don't Google it.

Trust me.

My mouth hurts.

That is all.

Bent Objects

aren't these little guys funny?

bentobjects.blogspot.com

Improving

haha! I took another practice section of the GRE...my verbal score has gone up 10 points.  I've been taking the time to actually look up the words in books that I'm not quite sure of the meaning.  Yes, I read books with the dictionary next to me, but jokes on you because I'm so cool such an old, retired woman wannabe that my dictionary is actually on my Kindle.  The great thing about the Kindle is that it HAS A DICTIONARY built in.  Oh, dissemble.  You can't fool me.  Kindlegarten (yeah I named it) taught me what the word meant.  So what that I already forgot what it means.  Disguise or conceal.  That's right.  The fact that I have a Kindle does not dissemble my wish to be an old person who never has to work again. 

Operation Get "Ship" Done

Before I apply to graduate school, I'd really like to have an idea of...what I want to apply to graduate school for... Most of the seniors in my university's graduating class had internships. I decided (read...my parents decided) I needed to graduate a year early and therefore, I have no internship under my belt to help me decide what to do. I like plans and direction. Recently I have discovered that without some type of direction, my life is a complete mess. But, unlike university where you've got a nice little plan laid out in front of you detailing which classes you need to take, real life has no such plan. Or, as much "real life" as I've had living with my parents and working all day. So, I'm left to create my own plan. I've decided that I should at least try for an internship because the worst that can happen is that I am still here living at my parents and working all day. The best that can happen? Having a new direction in life.

May I present:

Operation Get "Ship" Done.
In which, I apply for an internSHIP and eradicate my feelings of insanity and directionless...ness.

Step 1. Research internships
Step 2. Write a better cover letter
Step 3. Apply for said internships
Step 4. Wait to hear back
Step 5. Accept (hopefully!?) an internship
Step 6. Take GRE prep. class so further direction in life can be obtained
Step 7. LEARN TO SPEAK FRENCH #*$&%$*$*#$*@

WHAT IS THIS SNOW

It's official.

I.

hate.

THIS.

WEATHER.

Snow?! Note to weather: It is spring. NOT winter. Thanks.


Positive: Finally putting the expensive snow tires to good use. :p

Working on applying for an internship at Huntington Library.

Escaping this weather/reality/my job for five days in CALIFORNIA!

It is almost my birthday. Maddie and I have decided to call it A Banging (bacon) Birthday.

My dad said that was inappropriate. But that's just how we...are...especially Maddie.

Things I Love Thursday

weheartit

♥ On the Town
♥ Sharpie Pens
♥ The Copper Onion
♥ Ricotta dumplings @ The Copper Onion. So. OMGood.
♥ White journal from mom for Xmas
♥ Searchlight
♥ lavender nail polish
♥ horizontal stripes
♥ my "less expensive" elephant bangles from India
♥ using the words "less expensive" instead of cheaper
♥ camera tote bags
♥ my blackberry
♥ zuummmba (just kidding. zumba is the devil)
♥ yoga
♥ holli the pilates teacher for pilasting me. owwww.

what are you lovin???

P.S. there was totally a stripper in my zumba class. YES.

Life After College

"There is no there, or better state. Make the most of this one – it is right where you should be – and the only place that’s real"

-Jenny Blake

Jenny Blake runs the website lifeaftercollege.org. A whole website dedicated to my state of being! Perfect. She's super smart and give great advice.

Tonight, my little sister and I are going to see Legally Blonde! I'm excited, this is one of my favorite movies. Plus, then I get to go to the theatre which is way better than the theater.

I feel like buying a pink dress....but it's too cold in this stupid state to wear one. Weather, where do you get off SNOWING on the fourth day of Spring? Snow thanks.

As part of following my inner bliss, today I am downloading my new and improved resume.