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Showing posts with label what i do. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what i do. Show all posts
Saturday, March 26, 2011

Get up offa that thang

One time, I decided I wanted to exercise. I was going to run. No, I'm not joking. I really got it into my head (somehow) that running and I were going to be Best Friends. I'd be all Oh hey, let's hang out. and Running would say, Okay, sure. and I'd say, I really want to go buy a new book and read it while I eat a whole bunch of Peaches and Cream Oatmeal with vanilla ice cream on top and then maybe shopping for shoes and Running would glare at me and say, Fat chance sucker. Put on your pink tennis shoes.

Wait, what?! Okay, maybe I just needed more friends.

Anyways, because I hadn't run since the Ninth Grade Mile I was forced to run every Friday, I did what any novice runner would do: I Googled. Up came From Couch to 5K. I was so up for anything involving a couch, though Bed would have been a better choice, I clicked. I printed. I put on my damn pink tennis shoes. But, first I needed to make an Ipod play list. And hunt down some water bottles. And socks. And I probably ate some oatmeal with ice cream on top just for, you know, energy or whatever.

I took off down the street. Couch to 5K told me I should start out walking for five minutes then alternate jogging for 60 seconds with walking for 90 seconds for week one. Please. I eat a carton of ice cream faster than that. I skipped week one. I also skipped weeks two, three, four and five.

Jog for five minutes. Oh, heck yes. Five minutes is cake. That's like the time it takes me to shower. I took off jogging.

60 seconds. No problem. Haha! Obviously skipping week one was a good choice. Week one was for SUCKERS! 

Two minutes. This is tough. 

Two minutes and five seconds. Why is this happening to me?! Running, we're supposed to be friends. Why are you gossiping about me to all the cool girls? Why are you laughing at me??? Why do I feel like I WANT TO DIE!?!?!? THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! !@)*(#*)$#&*!)*


And that's when I decided to do yoga.


-whitters
Saturday, February 26, 2011

Eight Moments in the Life of the Writer: Eight

So, I'm fairly good with words. You must agree if you're reading this. I like words. I like big words. Small words. New words. Nerdy words. One of my favorite books is the Phantom Tollbooth because of the proliferation of puns. (Apparently they are making it into a movie!!!)

JoHanna and I are in charge of writing a handbook for my work. The handbook is about kitchen remodeling. I have never remodeled anything nor do I know anything about it. But, here JoHanna and I are writing a handbook. It looks amazing, by the way, and is really good.  I'd use it. After many drafts, we present our book to our boss. He looks at it. Reads it. Practically points out each word with his finger the way a kindergartener does. He stops.

'I don't like this word."

"Which word?"

"Problematic."

"Uh, why?"

"It's a Big Word."

"Problematic? I use it all the time...it's not a hard word..."

"Oh. Sorry. We didn't all go to [Fancy Liberal Arts University in Southern California]."

Blank stare. More blank stare. Really blank stare. This is starting to get problematic.

"Well.  I've been speaking since I was six months old. I've been collecting words ever since. So..."

Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.

Apparently, problematic is now a Five Dollar Word.

pedantic, pretentious boor. 

Side note: An ex-boyfriend's sister-in-law majored in journalism. At her Thank You All for Coming wedding speech, she said she didn't want to write anything down because it would probably sound pretentious.

Hey, congratulations. Not being pretentious? Didn't happen.

Then, the entire family made fun of her behind her back. Which is malicious, spiteful, or overbearing.  See what I did there?
Friday, September 3, 2010

hey BEAR

I need more experience writing, that's for sure.  B feels the need to light a fire under my a...

I need a few writing examples to apply for the Arts Journalism program.  Thus, my tour for the Utah Museum of Fine Arts was typed and edited.  And posted for your viewing pleasure.  Mind my spelling and grammar.  I haven't been to school in a year.  Thoughts?  (Hopefully nice) comments?  I'm sorry if I put those of you not particularly interested in art asleep.  Go read another blog.  Kidding.  Sort of.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”   The Utah Museum of Fine Arts, located on the sprawling campus of the University of Utah, is one of the best places in Utah to do just that.  Unique objects on display at the museum focusing on death and power from Egyptian, African, Hindi and Mayan cultures allow the mind to live, learn, explore and expand -- all without leaving the Salt Lake Valley.  

    The "killer" tour starts at a sarcophagus from ancient Egypt.  This sarcophagus came from the 26th dynasty of Egypt, a time of great turmoil and war.  A time when death was all too common.  In Greek, sarcophagus literally means "flesh eater."  The Egyptians, however, viewed the sarcophagus quite differently.  What the Greeks called a "flesh eater" was viewed by Egyptians as a "flesh holder."  A resting place. Egyptians loved living and celebrating a long, fruitful life.  They hoped to continue these flourishing lives long into the afterlife.  This sarcophagus reflects this desire, holding the body and keeping it safe until it was reunited with its ka or spirit in the afterlife.  A proper burial was needed so the ka could find the body in the afterlife.  A proper burial protected the body after death and included a sarcophagus like this one.  

    Decorating the wooden sarcophagus are symbolic scenes and elaborate incantations from the Egyptian Book of the Dead.  These were meant to protect the deceased occupant and guide him through their perilous journey into the underworld.  The name of each occupant is also included on the footboard of the sarcophagus.  This particular sarcophagus holds a man named Padiusir.  Padiusir's ancestors, like other Egyptian families, had immense respect for their deceased relatives.  They believed ancestors could influence the lives of the living for better or for worse.  Burial practices that protected the deceased were important for the living as well.  Ancestors that made it happily and safely to the afterlife could protect the living. Padiusir's  living ancestors also protected his memory by repeating his name over and over.  This ritual also ensured a happy existence in the afterlife.  

    Egyptian burial practices helped protect the deceased by guiding them into the afterlife and helping ensure a happy life for ancestors both living and dead.  Moving father into Africa, deceased ancestors also offered protection after death.  The memories and life of the deceased is given power and protection in death.  Like the Egyptians, the Boyo people of the Congo also believed their ancestors played an active and important role in the lives of the living.  While the Egyptian sarcophagi on display is large, decorative and elaborate, this small, smooth, richly carved Boyo statue is just as powerful.  With strong, circular arched eyebrows, a heart shaped nose and face and flat facial features, these small scale, wooden statues were usually of important and accomplished chiefs.  

    Each sturdy figure serves a dual purpose.  When disasters strikes, the Boyo people try to interpret the will of the ancestors by dreams or other dorms of divination.  By honoring the deceased through these statues, the Boyo believe the ancestor would be more likely to protect the living from harm or to influence future events for good.  Memories of great chieftains and the legitimacy of their progeny are also protected through these statues.  The statue of the ancestor kings were revered as much as a king himself and also helped current kings establish power and legitimacy as they traced their heritage and power back to their strong, ancestor kings.  

    Crossing through the museum and into India, the home country of the great Mahatma, the next cultural example presents a different view of death.  Representing one of the most widely loved and worshipped Hindu gods, a 14th century ornate, granite Ganesha statue stands majestically.  Exuding a jovial nature, as well as a sense of strength, he is known to bring good luck and fortune as well as the remover of obstacles.  He is frequently prayed to before embarking on a new adventure or life experience.  Ganesha's large belly and intricately carved elephant head are his most distinguishing features.   

What is particularly interesting about Ganesha is how he acquired his elephant head.  Hindu religion tells the story of a young prince asked to guard his Queen mother Parvati after his King father Shiva left home.  Years later, his father arrived home and demanded entrance into the household.  The young prince adamantly refused to let him in.  Getting more than a little perturbed, the King drew his sword and severed the prince's head.  The Queen mother pleaded with the King to revive her son.  The King decreed a search for a suitable replacement for young man's head.  An elephant head was found and the young prince became the elephant god Ganesha.  

    It is interesting to note only after his impending death did Ganesha become revered as the powerful god he is now.  Hindu religion tells that because Parvati was so devastated that Shiva had destroyed her son, she request he forever be worshiped as the most beloved Hindu god and today he certainly is.  This death was positive in bringing about a powerful, beloved deity renowned for protecting those journeying into new phases of their lives or searching for obstacles to be removed.  It is also interesting to note that Ganesha death gives blessings and protection to all who seek him.  Similar to the previous example from the Congo, the memory and legend of Ganesha connects him to powerful rulers.  This connection legitimizes him as a deity and is the source for his own strength and ability to bestow blessings as he sees fit.  

    The last stop in the museum leads to the Mayan culture of Guatemala.  Crafted from 100 B.C.-900 A.D. a large, sandstone colored funerary urn dominates the display room.  This piece focuses on protection from the underworld through victory and power.  Much like the Egyptian, African and Hindu cultures, the memory and power of those depicted are preserved.  

This decorative funerary urn served a double purpose.  Through depictions of victory and power, the idea of protection from the underworld is represented.  Imagery depicting the first ruler of the Mayan gods served to protect the memory and power of rulers after death.  A famous Mayan character is depicted in the underworld by stylized, horse-shoe shaped carvings.  On the front of the urn, one half of the dynamic Mayan duo dubbed the Hero Twins is seen.  The stuff of Mayan creation legend, these hero twins sought revenge after their father and uncle were savagely murdered by evil underworld deities.  After many trials, a final battle was held between the twins and the underworld gods.  The clever twins tricked the underworld lords by turning into catfish.  The swirling scales and gills of a catfish are seen carved into the figure on the urn.  Eventually, in their catfish disguises, the twins defeated the underworld and became rulers over all.  The Mayan kings believed they were descended from these Hero Twins.  Not only did the urn capture the feelings of power and strength, these urns also would have held the decapitated heads of deceased Mayan rulers.  These vessels protected, quite literally, the King’s power and memory even in death.  

    After circling the globe, the exploration of death and power comes to an end.  Though the cultures are varied and unique, protecting the memory and power of the deceased seemed to be a common goal.  Whatever the medium, the goal certainly was reached.  Come live, learn and explore these, and other great pieces at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts is located at the University of Utah campus in the Marcia & John Price Museum Building: 410 Campus Center Drive Salt Lake City, Utah. 
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