Get up offa that thang

One time, I decided I wanted to exercise. I was going to run. No, I'm not joking. I really got it into my head (somehow) that running and I were going to be Best Friends. I'd be all Oh hey, let's hang out. and Running would say, Okay, sure. and I'd say, I really want to go buy a new book and read it while I eat a whole bunch of Peaches and Cream Oatmeal with vanilla ice cream on top and then maybe shopping for shoes and Running would glare at me and say, Fat chance sucker. Put on your pink tennis shoes.

Wait, what?! Okay, maybe I just needed more friends.

Anyways, because I hadn't run since the Ninth Grade Mile I was forced to run every Friday, I did what any novice runner would do: I Googled. Up came From Couch to 5K. I was so up for anything involving a couch, though Bed would have been a better choice, I clicked. I printed. I put on my damn pink tennis shoes. But, first I needed to make an Ipod play list. And hunt down some water bottles. And socks. And I probably ate some oatmeal with ice cream on top just for, you know, energy or whatever.

I took off down the street. Couch to 5K told me I should start out walking for five minutes then alternate jogging for 60 seconds with walking for 90 seconds for week one. Please. I eat a carton of ice cream faster than that. I skipped week one. I also skipped weeks two, three, four and five.

Jog for five minutes. Oh, heck yes. Five minutes is cake. That's like the time it takes me to shower. I took off jogging.

60 seconds. No problem. Haha! Obviously skipping week one was a good choice. Week one was for SUCKERS! 

Two minutes. This is tough. 

Two minutes and five seconds. Why is this happening to me?! Running, we're supposed to be friends. Why are you gossiping about me to all the cool girls? Why are you laughing at me??? Why do I feel like I WANT TO DIE!?!?!? THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! !@)*(#*)$#&*!)*


And that's when I decided to do yoga.


-whitters

Ass-ets

 image source

In my quest to become fatter, I decided to try the Tin Roof Grill. It has a hip, trendy, sports bar feel to it. I know that sounds like an oxy-moron. The inside is a mix of sports bar meets hipster and the food is bar food meets tapas bar. Identity crisis?!? Tin Roof Grill, what are you!? Are you the place where those girls who don't like to eat wings (I don't know any) could go and watch sports with their boyfriends? The plethora of flat screen TV's and fancy appetizers tell me yes. I think. 

I ordered croquettes, which are little deep fat fried ham and cheese sandwich balls. Yum. Deep fat fry anything and I will eat it. Even fish. They were pretty good, but they scalded the roof of my mouth! Owwww. I also had a cup of french onion soup. It was good, but the cup was so tiny. How am I supposed to get fat off THAT!?

-whitters

Helix

 This is my ear:

After much deliberation and research, I went to a piercing parlor, picked out a little gem and waited while several others also had tiny holes stabbed in their body. The girl next to me had a tiny fleck of silver above her lip, the girl across from me had a tiny nose ring. The man doing my piercing had a whole row of rings up and down his ear.

The actual piercing took about five minutes and didn't hurt at all. The first time I went to get anything pierced, I was eight. I sat on a tiny bench at the mall while the gun was prepared. Only, I missed the memo about the part involving a gun. I screamed. Covered my ears. Ran o-u-t. Nothing like that was getting close to my ears. I told this all to my piercer. He looked at me like I was a nut case. This time, he used a needle and I slowly breathed while he stabbed me and put the earring in.


And it didn't even hurt!

Much.




-whitters

Yes, the lawn mower is a power tool

It snowed last week.  It's Utah, so you know, it does that a lot here.  But, my parents were out of town in Hawaii (lucky) and I was house-sitting.  By house-siting, I really mean babysitting.  But, when the charges are taller than you, bigger than you and meaner than you...it's a sad thing to admit.  I am the runt of the family.  This is important because it figures into the story later.  Remember, me=runt.

So.  It snowed.  It snowed a lot because Utah weather is a pain in the a and dumps the most snow between January and March.  Right when you're getting sick of crappy weather and snow and ice and freezing cold.  And boots and scarfs and mittens.  It's only cute in December.

The snow came down!  Maddie went out to shovel the driveway and I thought, "well, let's just use the snow blower.  It's like a lawn mower.  How hard can that be?"

Last time I used the lawn mower, I fell down the hill.  I'm not allowed to use the lawn mower.  I'm bad with power tools.  I decide to soldier on. I'm smart. I'm capable.  I can run the snow blower. As soon as I find it. I found it (Maddie found it) and figured out how to start it. Genius! Then I tried to make it go. Uphill. It did not want to go uphill. At all. It didn't want to go left and didn't want to go right. It didn't want to move. My feet, however, did. And so did my grey, thigh high boots. I am a classy lady.

This is how I snow blow.

Maddie tried to join me. We pushed. And slipped. And fell down the drive way. I yelled, 'This is why I'm going to live in a condo!!!!!!"

And my neighbor across the street came out on her porch, laughed at us, took a picture and went inside.

I hate this state.
Snow blowers can suck it, too.

Once Upon a Time

I had a blog. 

And within the blog, I promised to go tech-free for Sabbath Manifesto. 


And I failed greatly.


I should have stuck with something I could actually accomplish.


Like eating cheese.  Or painting my fingernails.  Or reblogging photos on Tumblr.

Or any number of things.

I can't help it.

Sorry.

Sabbath FAILURE

So, like any true addict, I failed at my Sabbath Manifesto.

But, I had to see?

The seat in Oliver (my little red car) got stuck.  All the way back.  So far back that my abnormally short legs couldn't reach the pedals.  Luckily, I have a really long torso.  Kind of like this guy:

I was able to lean alll the way forward in my seat, clutching wildly at the steering wheel as I drove up to watch  my sister play her harp in a children's program.  Not such a good idea.  Oliver lurched up the street like I was just learning to drive stick-shift.  screeeeeech. vrooooooom.

I live down the street from my destination.  Don't worry.

Natrually, I had to ask Google what was wrong with Oliver.  It was either that or risk hitting small children and old people.  And dogs.  My neighborhood is full of all of them.

Once I was on Google, I figured...it was all over. 

Might as well give up.

I'll try again next week.

I failed.  But, I was only thinking of the children!!!

:)

Sabbath

Street Cred

I like to challenge myself. I challenge myself to Keep Sitting on My Bed Eating Sweet Potato Chips (accomplished), Stay in Bed and Be Late for Work Everyday (accomplished) and Eat A Lot of Junkfood. I rock at these challenges! Go me! BUT, maybe I'll try something a little more productive? For 30 days, I will try something new. And see if I succeed.

This 30 Day Challenge....keep reading...

Getting the Heck Out of Utah...Err Dodge...

Just signed up for this:

Creative Nonfiction I

LLWRC 760

Explore this multi-faceted and popular genre, which ranges in scope from literary journalism to personal narrative and memoir, in this interactive 6-week course. Through sample readings, discussion, in-class writing exercises, and writing assignments, we will learn to use the narrative devices--narrator stances, characterization, verb tenses, dialogue, and scene and setting--that make this form of prose especially fascinating and appealing. Open to writers of all levels of experience who are confident with basic sentence structure and composition. 

So I can do this: 

Arts Journalism

Traditionally arts journalists have started out either as artists who learned to write or as writers who became passionately interested in writing about an art form. The Goldring Arts Journalism Program has been created to meet the varying needs of arts journalists by offering a uniquely flexible combination of courses to meet the educational objectives of each student, while offering them the latest training in multi-media communications.

Students arrive with specialized expertise or declared interest in an area of arts or culture—architecture, film, music, popular culture, television, theater or visual arts. They may also pursue a track of general arts editing. Students take graduate-level courses that deepen specialized knowledge in combination with journalism courses will sharpen writing, reporting, research, and multi-media skills.

  

 And spend all my time here: 

 

And see a whole lot more of this:

Not looking forward so much to snow, but if it means I get to write about something I love, I'll take it! Here's to hoping I get in...and hoping I don't freeze my a off.

Be careful out there Bear.  Fight back with a vengeance.  Maybe Hurricane Earl will delay the start of your school...looks like we're both bound for bad weather.

Operation Get "Ship" Done

Before I apply to graduate school, I'd really like to have an idea of...what I want to apply to graduate school for... Most of the seniors in my university's graduating class had internships. I decided (read...my parents decided) I needed to graduate a year early and therefore, I have no internship under my belt to help me decide what to do. I like plans and direction. Recently I have discovered that without some type of direction, my life is a complete mess. But, unlike university where you've got a nice little plan laid out in front of you detailing which classes you need to take, real life has no such plan. Or, as much "real life" as I've had living with my parents and working all day. So, I'm left to create my own plan. I've decided that I should at least try for an internship because the worst that can happen is that I am still here living at my parents and working all day. The best that can happen? Having a new direction in life.

May I present:

Operation Get "Ship" Done.
In which, I apply for an internSHIP and eradicate my feelings of insanity and directionless...ness.

Step 1. Research internships
Step 2. Write a better cover letter
Step 3. Apply for said internships
Step 4. Wait to hear back
Step 5. Accept (hopefully!?) an internship
Step 6. Take GRE prep. class so further direction in life can be obtained
Step 7. LEARN TO SPEAK FRENCH #*$&%$*$*#$*@

Things I Love Thursday

weheartit

♥ On the Town
♥ Sharpie Pens
♥ The Copper Onion
♥ Ricotta dumplings @ The Copper Onion. So. OMGood.
♥ White journal from mom for Xmas
♥ Searchlight
♥ lavender nail polish
♥ horizontal stripes
♥ my "less expensive" elephant bangles from India
♥ using the words "less expensive" instead of cheaper
♥ camera tote bags
♥ my blackberry
♥ zuummmba (just kidding. zumba is the devil)
♥ yoga
♥ holli the pilates teacher for pilasting me. owwww.

what are you lovin???

P.S. there was totally a stripper in my zumba class. YES.

Day 17

alittleworld

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!


♥ As a social species, we benefit from regular, friendly interactions

Unless you're Whitters and are therefore inclined to avoid people because you're a nut case, but at the same time, want to have more friends. This makes no sense. I realize this. I get in these moods where pretty much everyone bothers me and I want to be alone. Then, I want to have more friends. Typical of my indecisive nature. I think...just kidding. The funny thing is, even when I'm in my anti-social moods (more often than not), I always have a good time once I'm actually out of the house.

Homework:

♥ Take action on your friendships

In your notebook, write five things you could do to improve your friendships.

♥ Be proactive! Make an attempt to get together with people.
♥ More importantly, follow through with these plans.
♥ Be a better listener.
♥ Seek out new friends. Anyone want to be my friend?
♥ Keep in touch with friends better. Make an effort to see how they are doing!

Day 16

Love

Follow, follow to me charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!

"You have to focus on being the best you – because that is all you have."

Homework:

♥ Change your attitude towards jealousy.

Think of three incidents where you have felt jealous, or imagine three where you could potentially feel very jealous.

• Why would you feel that way?
• What, specifically, is it they have that you want?
• Why don’t you have it?
• Can you help that?

Now, use that jealous feeling as a tool rather than an obstacle, exploit it rather than letting it weigh down and depress you. Change your thoughts to proactive ones, ask yourself:

• How can you have what they have too?
• Or, how can you change your feelings about it to elevate yourself in spirits, regardless of whether you possess it or not?
• Can you shift your focus to another, more suitable, more attainable goal?
• Is that really what you want, or do you have higher aspirations?

Quite honestly, I don't think I'm ready to share with blogging world my petty jealousies. A lot of things I'm jealous of in people are so pointless. (That girl is prettier than I am!! The NERVE.) However, there are SOME jealous things I would rather keep to myself thankyouverymuch. I'll write them down somewhere you all can't read them and make fun of me. :)

Day 5

awkward girl

Follow, follow me to charadestyle.com and M.Y.L.A.!


"The only thing that ever truly holds us back from the dream life we deserve, as I have said, is ourselves. Often, this is because we are stuck solid on events in the past...but what if we began to let our experience of the world be lead by our curiosity and aspirations of the future? what matters is where you go from here...Imagine a daisy growing out of the earth; how could it sprout upwards if it kept the weight of all that dirt on its tiny petals? It couldn’t, so it forgets its grubby roots, shakes of the soil and looks to the sun."

Homework: On an entire clean page in your journal, write an affirmation of forgiveness and forward-thinking.

♥ "IT ISN'T WHERE YOU'VE BEEN...IT'S WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO GO FROM HERE."