My middle sister is a cosmetologist. She's good with hair. She always has been. Well, with the exception of one event:
Maddie was in fifth grade. Brocky Blue-Head and I cornered her.
"Hey, Maddie."
She was suspicious. As she should have been.
"Your eyebrows are looking a little hairy."
She stared at us.
"Yeah, they definitely are!" I piped up. "I think you might have a...uni-brow."
"Yeah, definitely!" Brock agreed.
"What's a uni-brow?" she asked.
"It's when your eyebrows grow over your nose and you have one. long. eyebrow."
After this brief torture, Brock and I laughed to ourselves and parted ways. There was no reason for our torture. We frequently came up with unique ways to inflict pain on our siblings, be it swirlys or holding the door open just long enough for the person walking through to be smashed like a small, stupid bug. Suckers.
The next day at the breakfast table, Maddie wandered in wearing a red and white stripped ski hat. The brim was pulled down low over her eyes. So low she could barely see her food. My mom became suspicious.
"Why are you wearing that hat?" she asked. Maddie, not one to be easily tricked (she thought!), replied that she just. really. liked. her. hat. My mom, also not easily tricked, pulled off the hat to reveal:
Maddie's half-shaved eyebrows.
Hearing that she had a horrible uni-brow, she ran into the bathroom and proceeded to shave her eyebrows. Holding the razor horizontally (that's hamburger-ly...), she manged to not only shave off her unsightly uni-brow, but also most of her (now missing) eyebrows. Instead of meeting in the middle like a giant roller coaster of hair, they now sadly attempted to gain momentum over the arch of her eyes...and failed. Crashed.
And burned.
The best-saddest part of all this:
It was school picture day.
-whitters
Maddie was in fifth grade. Brocky Blue-Head and I cornered her.
"Hey, Maddie."
She was suspicious. As she should have been.
"Your eyebrows are looking a little hairy."
She stared at us.
"Yeah, they definitely are!" I piped up. "I think you might have a...uni-brow."
"Yeah, definitely!" Brock agreed.
"What's a uni-brow?" she asked.
"It's when your eyebrows grow over your nose and you have one. long. eyebrow."
After this brief torture, Brock and I laughed to ourselves and parted ways. There was no reason for our torture. We frequently came up with unique ways to inflict pain on our siblings, be it swirlys or holding the door open just long enough for the person walking through to be smashed like a small, stupid bug. Suckers.
The next day at the breakfast table, Maddie wandered in wearing a red and white stripped ski hat. The brim was pulled down low over her eyes. So low she could barely see her food. My mom became suspicious.
"Why are you wearing that hat?" she asked. Maddie, not one to be easily tricked (she thought!), replied that she just. really. liked. her. hat. My mom, also not easily tricked, pulled off the hat to reveal:
Maddie's half-shaved eyebrows.
Hearing that she had a horrible uni-brow, she ran into the bathroom and proceeded to shave her eyebrows. Holding the razor horizontally (that's hamburger-ly...), she manged to not only shave off her unsightly uni-brow, but also most of her (now missing) eyebrows. Instead of meeting in the middle like a giant roller coaster of hair, they now sadly attempted to gain momentum over the arch of her eyes...and failed. Crashed.
And burned.
The
It was school picture day.
-whitters
1 comments:
How terrible she shaved off her eyebrows and for picture day! I bet those school pictures were pretty stylin!
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